Of dogs...

Been pretty busy the past few days with projects, projects and more projects.

Jann and Shu'e went Bangkok on Thursday, and came back just today, and Jann decided to leave Joy Joy with us as there was no one to take care of her. Charcoal didn't take too well to Joy's presence... there were fights every 5 minutes. They would take turns to disturb each other, and they get jealous of each other if I carry either.

But slowly, I guess friendship blossomed between these 2 furkids, and they were able to be in a place without any confrontation. I found it pretty amusing to see them sleeping next to each other, their paws trying to push each other away for more space on the bed. And yes, poor me, I have to snuggle into a corner because they took over my bed.

And then, today Joy just left for home.

Mum cried (surprise, surprise!!!) when Joy had to go.
I felt sad when Joy had to go.
Charcoal was chewing on his new toy when Joy had to go.

The 2 lovely ladies bought yummy snacks and tons of stuffs for Charcoal!! THANKS BABES!!! :)

And now I miss Joy. I miss the sound of her loud loud bell running through the living room.

Sigh.

Perhaps I should get Charcoal a collar with a larger bell.

Finally...

Finally the long awaited call has arrived.

Now, some explaining to do.

Update again...

Waiting... and waiting.

I wish it will be over and done soon.

Tired of waiting and waiting and waiting.

A horrible sight to remember...

Sunday is the day that Charcoal gets to go to the West Coast Dog Run near my home. He knows it, and usually he would be extremely hyper about it. He would run from the door to my bedroom, take a peek at what I'm doing, then run back to the door to wait for me, and if I don't hurry up, he would run back to my room to rush me.

But today, Jann and I witnessed a very upsetting event at the Dog run. Charcoal was happily running about when suddenly a woman screamed. I quickly looked for Charcoal, and saw a husky with a poodle in his mouth. And, Charcoal was running towards the duo. I ran and grabbed him, then I saw the husky vigorously shaking the poodle with his mouth. The male owner of the poodle quickly tried to chase the husky away with a badminton racket, and I stood rooted to the spot, just meters away from what was happening. I wanted to help stop the fight, but I saw blood dripping down from the poodle. The husky shook the poodle like a rag doll, and finally let go.

The poodle lay limp on the ground, and then I realised it was dead. I cried, but silently. The owner of the husky, a female, stood with her dog a distance away. The female owner was pretty upset, crying and screaming away, whereas her two children were peering over their dad's shoulders, asking if the dog was dead. Male owner seemed pretty calm about it though. They left shortly after, with the dog limp in their hands.

Jann and I couldn't hold back the tears, and we left too, cos we had no mood to stay on, worried for the safety of our dogs.

I don't know what to think of the whole incident. I feel very upset, because as a dog owner myself, I know it will be very devastating to lose a dog... To me, Charcoal is not only my pet, but a part of my family. I've watched and read so much about dogs, and I knew to stop a fight, I should hold on to the dog's collar and hit it right in the middle of its eyes. But I didn't. I just stood deadrooted. What if it were Charcoal? What would I have done?

I feel that dog owners should be more responsible, and take care of their own dogs. At the dog run, we let our dogs run freely, but that doesn't mean we should let them out of our sight. We must protect our pets from others, and vice versa. The owner of the poodle didn't react fast enough, but I guess he didn't expect it to happen. The owner of the husky didn't appear till much later, but I guess too, she didn't expect it to happen. But when things happen, where were they?

I'm babbling, because I'm just so affected by this whole episode and can't stop tearing whenever I think about the poor dog.

I wished I had done more.

I wished I had punched that husky to stop the fight.

I wished I hadn't been so selfish to protect just Charcoal alone.

just... wondering.

Am I one step closer to a dream or one step further from a career?

Why my diet plans always fail...

I love KFC.

Of diets and detoxing...

Mum: Girl ah, what do you want to eat for dinner tonight ah?
Me: (eating chocolates) Ah.... I don't know leh. Don't really feel like eating tonight.
Mum: Why? You are going out?
Me: (starts to open a packet of potato chips) Not going out, feeling lazy. I'm actually trying to detox, and am on a diet.
Mum: With chocolates and potato chips?!
Me: Chocolates make me happy when I'm depressed about not able to eat anything else. Potato chips give me the energy now that I don't eat much meat.

Now you see why I never lose weight.

Of exam results and farting.

A friend sent me an sms saying that results are out on the website... I choked on my Milo... crossed my toes, fingers, eyes and prayed that I passed the exams.

As you all can see, I tend to be very lazy relaxed during the exams, because exam time is the best time to recuperate from lack of sleep and rest... and therefore I go into the exam hall with whatever is left in my head. And, I don't stay in the exam hall for too long. No point checking your answers over and over again, if you're wrong, you're wrong.

So before I logged in to the system, I told myself If I pass my subjects for last term, I promise to work hard for this term. I will work very very hard. Just let me pass. and a sense of deja vu washed over me.

And... and... I realised I say this to myself every term, whenever I am checking results.

BUT! I passed!!! WOOOO HOOOOO!!! So I shall try to work hard this semester, anyway it's my final lap.

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I wonder why dogs fart. I wonder why Charcoal farts A LOT. Especially in his sleep.

And especially when he's next to me sleeping while I am doing work.

EXTREMELY potent.

Must be the apples I fed him.

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Ok! I shouldn't be blogging too much right now. Just came back from a project meeting, and so since I promised myself to work hard this semester, I shall start on my project soon now.

Before I start slacking again. Which I foresee to be quite soon.

I wonder...

I wondered why, then, when you always made me cry
I held on to our love steadfastly.
I wonder why, now, when you're no longer here
I still hold on to that love selfishly.

I wondered why, then, when you lied to me time and time again
I believed you and grasped tightly that trust.
I wonder why, now, even when you're not here
I have that bit of trust still.

I wondered why, then, when we were upset with each other
I held on to that hope of our future.
I wonder why, now, even when you have someone new
I am holding on to that hope still.

I wondered why, then, when you broke my heart
I loved you all the same.

But I wonder why, now, even when you no longer love me
I love you still.

Of friends... and work....

The other day, I popped by SPH to visit old colleagues. The warmth of that big family at the counter reigns still, though a few friends were not there.

That got me thinking about how important environment is when it comes to work.

I like the feeling of belongingness, the feeling when in the morning, you feel like you're going to meet a family at work. The feeling of knowing that there are people supporting you if you should fall, of knowing that there are people who will share your sorrows.

I miss the times we spent hours chatting in the discussion room, over our S55 and emails, the after-work chat across the counters.

Even though there are times when I felt unhappy about the working attitudes of some other colleagues, I still enjoyed my stay there.

It was this feeling of belongingness which made me feel very much reluctant to leave the big family.
And the lack of this same feeling in the next job which made me leave after one month's stint.
Now that I'm doing freelance, that feeling is replaced by my time spent with my family.

But now I look back, the friendships made... seemed to have weakened over time. We don't seem to be in very much contact with one another, just the occasional chats over MSN, the once-in-a-while SMS-es, and I do miss them a lot.

And a few times some suggested meeting up, I was unable to make it due to classes, or I had to meet my clients at the last minute.

I wonder why I didn't make the first move to keep contact. Was I afraid of rejection? Was I waiting for them to make the first move instead?

Perhaps I should give them a call.

Bloopers bloopers

Qian just told me about this...

I shouldn't be writing it down... but I just can't help it.

Go Google, type Failure in the search field, and click on I'm Feeling Lucky.

My guess is most of you already know of this, but... heh heh.

Comme d'habitude ...

A French song I recently heard... somehow... it describes what I feel, at times.

Excerpt:
Comme d'habitude
Et puis le jour s'en ira
Moi je reviendrai comme d'habitude
Toi, tu seras sortie
Pas encore rentrée comme d'habitude
Tout seul j'irai me coucher
Dans ce grand lit froid comme d'habitude
Mes larmes, je les cacherai
Comme d'habitude

Comme d'habitude, même la nuit
Je vais jouer à faire semblant
Comme d'habitude tu rentreras
Comme d'habitude je t'attendrai
Comme d'habitude tu me souriras
Comme d'habitude

Translation:
As Usual
And then, the day will go on
Me, I will return, as usual
You, You will leave
But yet return, as usual
I will always sleep alone
In this big cold bed, as usual
My tears, I will hide them
As usual

As usual, even at night
I will pretend
As usual, you will return
As usual, I will wait for you
As usual, you will smile at me
As usual.

As usual, I will wait...

She sits by the window

She sits by the window
Wind in her hair
She thinks of the past
And silently she weeps

She looks out the window
Sun in her eyes
Tears glistening as they fall
Oh! Sorrowful is her life

I am very much alive

Yes yes, I know I've been away for pretty long... but was down with a bad bout of flu last week and am still recovering. Sadly, I haven't lost any weight despite not having the appetite to eat. Porridge and water do no good to diets. At least for me. Damn.

Been busy eating, catching back my appetite, sleeping, lazing around.

Yes, I am turning very much into a couch potato.

Nothing interesting comes into my mind now, just some updates at the moment. Tomorrow ok? :P

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I have started picking up salsa, and I thank my lucky stars and moons that I can still remember the steps. Otherwise I would be stepping on my classmates' feet.

Dancing is therapeutic. At least for that few hours that I'm dancing, I forget about what is wrong in my life.

Sometimes I wish I could just forget about earning money and dance or sing my whole life away. But I doubt it's possible.

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French lessons are going on great, and I am now thinking about going over to Paris for a couple of months to study the language and pick up some guys.

Speaking about it, I gotta rush off to complete my French assignment.

Au revoir!