Off to Beijing... again...

This is the second time I'm flying off to Beijing within a month. However, dear Mr Fat is not free to meet me as he will be away for the May Day holidays.

Hopefully the flight tomorrow will be good. Not exactly looking forward to flight since what happened the last time. Sigh.

How positive can one stay for long? I wonder.

Girlfriend called me earlier and asked me a really weird question about something which happened a long time back.. and kinda got me thinking a little. I wonder why she asked.

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On another note, Qian is finally coming back to SIN for a while! And she'll be in on the days I'm home!

Can't wait to catch up with her at Wala's. At least this is the tentative plan.

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I finally went for brazilian waxing at Strip this afternoon. Haven't done it in the longest time ever and... it was a hair-raising (no pun intended) experience. Spent the afternoon window shopping, and ended up at The Mind Cafe, laughing our asses off on the games we played.

I love spending time like that with people I care for.

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Am typing as I am painting my nails blood red. I can't believe that this nail painting routine has become part of my life.

Eew.

Random ramblings... oh what's new?

Met up with Amy and Huiling in the evening for dinner, and we sat at Starbucks to bitch the night away. Chat about sensitive topics which might get Amy blushing, but it was really funny and hilarious. And so the 2 ladies left to meet their beaus, and I, without any plans, came home taking public transport.

I've been taking public transport pretty much of late, and somehow, I like long bus rides. Reminded me of the long conversations we've had, the only times we could spend together due to our packed student activities, catching up on each other's lifes. Reminisced a little about the past, and kinda missed taking the bus with the guys after choir practices.

Ah, signs of me growing old.

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Plans with Lady Stella to go MOS kinda didn't happen cos I felt tired earlier, and we couldn't really find people to go. So I came home and sat my butt down in front of the computer, and spent the time thinking if I should remove my makeup and shower before getting into bed. After an hour of painstakingly waiting for calls to invite me out for the night, I decided to prepare for bed.

Just as I stepped out of the shower, a call came and forced me out for drinks. So I went out again.

We chatted, laughed, and drank while catching up after a long period of disappearance from each other's lifes. He said that he could never be a replacement, only a substitute. And I agreed, somehow.

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And I just got back, feeling more awake than ever.

I think I need sleep.

Back home again....

Just got back from Christchurch, had a bad start which left me feeling really demoralised, but thanks to the crew, who encouraged me no end, I survived pretty much.

Don't feel like talking about it though, so ... would appreciate if you guys don't ask. :)

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Wanted to skydive in NZ, but weather was so bad, it rained every hour or so. First night, we went to the casino opposite the hotel and spent a long time there. When we got back, a few of us gathered to drink and play games, and I went back to the room feeling woozy. Think I talked rubbish online with a couple of people (you know who you are, especially the one who wanted to call and hear how I sound!). So it was just lunch and a little walk around town the next day, in the rain no less.

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Couldn't sleep last night in the hotel, so met up with one of the crew and we had a long chat into the morning.

Shared many thoughts... which set me thinking. =(

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I wish things were a lot simpler.

Spinning around...

This has been a crazy week of turnarounds... to Kuala Lumpur, and to Bangkok. Great crew, lots of learning, lots of training on my speed, what else can I ask for?

Had a nightstop in Bangkok, so once we checked into the room, a group of us went out for shopping, drinks and dinner, or rather, supper. Came back to the hotel pretty late, and I contemplated staying awake throughout the night, only to fall asleep and disregard the ringing of my alarm clock.

No more wild nights like this.

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Met up with Stella for dinner, and we spent about 3 hours in Cafe Cartel, just chatting and bumming around, hogging a huge table meant for a big group. But no one chased us away, so we shamelessly sat ourselves down.

I got a webcam and a Skype phone! So last night I gave a coupla friends a quick tour of my room. hahaha! Then Val & I tried to use skype to chat on the phone, but there was something wrong with our connection. Sigh.

And now I'm forcing friends to see me via webcam. STOP HIDING FROM ME ALOYSIUS! And chatting with Ah Fat over skype.

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Tomorrow I'll be off to Christchurch. Heard the weather's cold. So, I went out to buy a jacket, despite already having 2 from London.

And hurt done to my wallet was... $400. I walked past Esprit and I saw they were having a sale.

Sigh.

This is unhealthy.

Argh.

STOP IT JENN!

I miss...

... being the old me.

Where are you?

:,(

I really should stop being so emo and get out of this depressing shithole.

It's already 3 am...

... and I can't get to sleep still.

Oh, and because it was Easter Sunday yesterday, we had hot cross buns on board! I absolutely love hot cross buns because they have raisins and apricots inside. Love it love it love it! I broke into song in the galley and got laughed at by the rest.

"Hot cross buns, hot cross buns,
One a penny, two a penny
Hot cross buns!"

Now that I've got myself started on silly songs, here's another one I love to sing to irritate everyone.

"Say a thousand legged worm, as it gives a little squirm,
Have you seen this little leg of mine?
If it can't be found, I shall have to hop around,
On my nine hundred and ninety-nine!
Hop around, Hop around,
Have you seen this little leg of mine?
If it can't be found, I shall have to hop around,
On my nine-hundred and ninety-nine!"

Oh I feel so young again.

I have more songs! And nursery rhymes!
BUt I'm done with them today. Now the wormy song is stuck in my head.

Damn it.

Rain.. rain

Got back from my standby flight this morning... did a turnaround to Dhaka and it was truly and eye-opener for me. Learnt a lot of things though, which is good, and I really hope to be good at what I'm doing.

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I love rain somehow. I like the cold, wet feeling, the droplets of rain on my window. I like to sit in cars, trace the path each drop of rain run down the window. I like to see how people would run to take shelter from the rain, I like to see people strolling under their umbrellas, all from the comfort of my covered shelter.

Yet at times, I love to run in the rain, heck, if I could, I want to dance in the rain.

But I wish the rain will go away tomorrow because Val & I want to go to SentosA!

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When I was happily attached years back, I thought all I wanted was a successful career and be a happily married woman.

Then I became single and I thought... I just want a successful career.

Then I got this job. Good bye successful career.

hAhaha, Val and I talked about this during our stay in Karachi. Life takes a weird turn sometimes. Or rather, everytime.

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Finally my NUS/NTU guys are graduating! Welcome to the working world, in advance, buddies! But first, have fun with exams. HAhAhahA!

And yes, I'm still left with 2 modules that I need to complete before I graduate from UWA. I will settle it soon. I hope.

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I want my iBook back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lousy feeling

Just got home from The Mind Cafe with friends.

I had wanted to get something off my chest...felt really lousy, really lousy.

But I thought it wouldn't be of any use. Cos the outcome will stay the same.

It's tiring to live a lie right? I wouldn't have the energy to do that.

singled out

So someone patched back with the ex, some friends got hitched, one got married and oh well, none free to accompany poor old me.

Back to work tomorrow night... sigh.

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I was browsing through some books, and a sudden thought hit me.

I used to feel... special somehow. Like.. people would love me for my bubbly personality, my witty jokes, my silliness... everything.

Somehow, I realised I'm.. just boring old me. No longer the hyper-active one, no longer the funny one, no longer the person to hang out with.

I hate this feeling.

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Sudden craving for salmon.
And thick chunks of steak.

Another boring post...

Yes, as you may have noticed, I've been blogging a lot more recently. I'm on a week's leave, and my plans to go HKG or to BKK or even to the beach have been scrapped due to my being vain.

SO during the past few days, I have:
- packed my room slightly
- chatted over the phone and MSN with friends I haven't had time to catch up with
- done online shopping
- surfed many weird and interesting websites
- attended an ROM this afternoon.

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So this afternoon I attended Phil's ROM. That guy had the cheek to call me on Monday, telling me that he forgot to send me an invitation to his ROM. Being really good friends, and on the promise that he will introduce some nice young chaps to me, I tagged along.

I volunteered my camera for some photo-taking sessions, when I realised.. I left my memory stick in the computer.

How nice. How typical of me.

Today's the first time I saw P's wife. Always knew she wasn't local, but I wasn't expecting him to marry an Australian as his parents are very conservative and traditional. Still, for his parents to be able to accept her, that lady must be really special. Sad thing is, after next month, he'll be leaving us to settle down in Perth with her family. Which means, he's gotten his job application approved. Which means, when I go to Perth, I can visit him! Which means, I'm more likely to see him more often! Which, when I told him that, he cringed and said he'd keep his address hidden from me.

How nice. How typical of him.

My leave's coming to an end on Friday. And tomorrow night I am going to watch West Side Story with Jason!

YIPPEE!

Ok, enough of blogging.

MyHeritage.com

Again, another bored day at home. It's raining and I can't go down to the beach!

So I was chatting with Sel, and then he told me to go MyHeritage.com. And so I did. And then the next half an hour or so, I was stuck with putting up pictures and seeing who I resembled.

Heh.

All you people who have taken photos with me before, BEWARE!!!



This is a picture of Val and I in London...



A pic of Sel & I taken outside The University of Sydney... and I quote "I don't wanna look like a dead gay!" :P



This was taken at Louis' birthday party last year. HahaHAahAh, apparently he looks like Stephen Chow.



A narcissistic picture of myself. Who is Ha Ji-Won anyway?



And then I put up Charcoal's pic for fun. But no matches.

So.. I have a typical Asian face with my small eyes. Sigh. NO chance of me looking like Angelina Jolie ever.

My love language... haha!

I... erm... was bored. So...

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Quality Time:		10
Acts of Service:		4
Words of Affirmation:		3
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

beauty.

I've learnt, that beauty comes with a price to pay.

I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again. I shall not be vain again.

Slap me with a trout if you ever see me being vain again.

::unprotected::

Nightmares plague me every night, haunting me in my sleep. I toss and turn, I wake up in tears, yet I don't remember much.

Snippets, snippets and snippets.... Photographs of my haunting dreams pieced up to tell a whole new story.

I feel vulnerable.

I feel exposed.

I feel... left alone.

Give me a box. I want to stay inside my box.

Back from Karachi...

I am two women: one wants to have all the joy, passion and adventure that life can give me. The other wants to be a slave to routine, to family life, to the things that can be planned and achieved. I'm a housewife and a prostitute, both of us living in the same body and doing battle with each other.
The meeting of these two women is a game with serious risks. A divine dance. When we meet, we are two divine energies, two universes colliding. If the meeting is not carried out with due reverence, one universe destroys the other.
- excerpt from Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coelho

Touched down from Karachi, Pakistan, early yesterday morning. I have nothing much to say about Karachi, cos I spent 90% of my time in the hotel, catching up on rest and my reading. Being a closet nerd that I am, I was elated when I finished one book.

Read Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes, and was rather surprised to find that I could actually relate to many instances mentioned in the story, a real-life account of a prostitute who was trying to find herself. Life is, by itself, a contradictory stage. It is too long, too draggy for one to suffer, yet too short, too abrupt, for anyone to make mistakes. For me, in the midst of trying to live life, I lose myself and not know what I want out of life. Heck, sometimes I don't even know who I am. Am I still bursting with energy, full of zest for things I do, full of curiosity for all new things... or am I jaded with life, with love, with everything and just about everyone?

I have no fucking idea.

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Anyway, Karachi. Dusty and we were advised not to drink water from the taps, or eat any fresh salads, or take drinks with ice cubes, lest we fall ill. Things there are really affordable! I went with S$30, and I still had about S$4 when I came home, even after spending money on desserts, snacks, a very filling dinner, and a scrumptious breakfast in the room! Hotel staff are really hospitable, and they made sure we were well taken care off.

Val and I operated the same flight again, and she went out the next day with 2 other ladies to sight-see. I stayed in, and went out alone in the afternoon. When I got out of the hotel, I had a shock. I didn't see any women at all, NONE. And, being the only woman on the street, I got followed, got stared at, got pestered by taxi drivers trying to bring me around for shopping. So, I got freaked out and didn't tour further than the street I was on. Sigh.

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It was Val's birthday on our way back to SIN, so I wished her twice, once in Singapore time and one Pakistan time.

I LOVE YOU BABE! Hope you had a real enjoyable birthday! Thanks for always being there, and I'm so gonna miss you on my flights.

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Qian called me from Dhaka, and we spent a good almost-two hour chat on the phone. The phone bill's crazily high, but nothing's too much or too expensive for a dear friend.

I'm glad you called, babe.

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It's funny how we always term it "women's intuition", when a woman gets this naggy feeling about something and it comes out true.

I had this same feeling a couple of days back, but I don't dare to know if my so-called intuition is true or not.

Even if it's true, there's nothing I can do about it.

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And...

No, you can't love two people at the same time.

Finally... updates....

Sorry for the delayed update. Was too lazy to edit any photos, and with Photoshop working SLOW (I repeat, DOUBLY SLOW) on my Windows, it took me practically the whole night to edit the freaking photos!!!

And so I decided to work on my iBook, and I think, I overloaded too many photos at a go... and... I think it kinda crashed.

I hope my iBook's still surviving, thing is, it's not starting up. And I'm worried. Cos I never backed up anything in there. I should, right? Was procrastinating the backup thingy. ARGH! It just had to happen at this time! IDIOT!

Yeah. I'm rambling cos it's 6 am and I am nowhere near sleepy.

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Sydney

Went to Sydney on my first solo flight, and good thing for me, Val happened to do the next flight to Sydney as well. So we met up, and then Selwyn came down to show us around!

We went to this place called "Pancakes on the Rocks" for brunch, and it was YUMMY. Ok, I'm a sucker for desserts, but then it was really cheap and good! Sel was very sweet to have spent his whole day with us, doing all the tourist-y things like taking photos, ooo-ing and aah-ing at stuffs...



Kinda hoping to go back to Sydney again soon though.

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Beijing

And then it was Beijing.

Met up with Fat and we went to have a great scrumptious dinner which cost less than S$20! Where could you get such a good deal? Things are pretty cheap in Beijing, but I didn't get to do much shopping cos I slept the afternoon away before I met him.

It was great catching up with him over dinner... it seemed like such a long while since we had a heart-to-heart talk. Good to see that he's moving on well, and settling well into the city.

Still, Fat, we miss you and hope you are coming back soon!



And, oh oh!, Fat made a jigsaw picture of him and I, with some really nice touching words.

Thank you for being there for me always too, bro. Thank you for always supporting me.

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London

Just got back from London on Friday morning. London was... well, wet. It was COLD and raining almost every hour! Val, Dora and I went on this flight together, and once we settled into the hotel, I called Kelly up in her room and made her come to my room to chat. I really miss having them around.

London was good for sight-seeing. Next morning, Val and I hopped on the Big Bus and went around town. A "coffee-break" (cos we were freezing in the wind) ended up a long shopping spree where I finally managed to find my winter jackets and Val spent a bomb on caps, bags and what-nots. We watched Phantom of the Opera (Original London cast) and were struggling to stay awake through the whole show cos we were just too tired. But the musical was lovely, lovely. I would love to watch it again, but I guess my next show in London would be perhaps Les Miserables or Stomp!

Dora had a friend, Jeff, join us when we were on standby in the hotel. So the four of us did nothing but played cards in the room, ate cup noodles and dilly-dallied around. Luckily dinner was a longer break, and we went down to Marks & Spencer's and I almost went crazy deciding what to buy from there. I LOVE THE COUS COUS THERE!!! it was SUPERB.

Ok, my iBook failed on me at this point, and I had to re-edit the photos from my PC. So... I got lazy and just decided to put up these few pics.




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Next month's roster looks promising. Hoping to go more places and save up for my future plans....

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I'm keeping my fingers crossed on my iBook. I've tons of pics in there and I haven't backed up.

Pray hard for me.