kisses.

I love kissing.



I love kisses. Stolen kisses, shared kisses, passionate kisses, surprise kisses. Kisses on the cheek, kisses on the forehead, kisses on the lips, kisses at the neck.






I love welcome kisses, goodbye kisses. I love kisses at the door, kisses behind doors, kisses in the car, kisses in the lift, kisses in the bed, kisses in the shower. Kisses with eyes closed, kisses with longing looks, kisses with cheeky faces.





I love long kisses, short pecks, happy kisses, teary kisses. Holding hands while kissing, hugging tightly while kissing, laughing madly while kissing, crying sadly while kissing. Drunken kisses, sober kisses. Joyful kisses, sorrowful kisses.






Give me a kisse, and to that kisse a score;
Then to that twenty, adde a hundred more;
A thousand to that hundred; so kisse on,
To make that thousand up a million;
Treble that million, and when that is done,
Let's kisse afresh, as when we first begun.
~ Robert Herrick

last minute ramblings...

Another 15 minutes or so before I head out for work.

Flight on Thursday was... amusing. Didn't know men could be THAT shy. But it was a very surprising coincidence to meet him on board.

Met up with the teamies for a 'wild' BBQ gathering and lots of drinking, with someone ending up being thrown into the pool amidst wild cheers.

Then it was back to the apartment for more drinking, and more drinking and more drinking. I managed to reach home safely with that amount of alcohol in my blood, with a friend on the phone and singing together (he on the phone) at the top of our lungs along ECP.

Crashed for a couple of hours before I headed out to meet Qian in the morning, where good news was 'conceived' and then to Hog's Breath @ Chjimes for lunch... And we wonder how one year flew past so fast. Where did that one year go to?

We mused about the men, rather the lack of, in our lives, and how we are usually hung up about men we can't get. Does this make life interesting? No one knows. But I guess we don't deal well with a life that is smooth sailing all the way. The ups and downs (I mean REALLY REALLY DOWN) make life interesting, no?

Haven't slept since the nap in the afternoon, should have gone Womad with the lady, or drinking with Jacob. Damn. So it was a last minute decision with Joe for supper at Orchard and then home to prepare for flight. Kinda looking forward to Tuesday, where I will be away from home for a longer time. Flights these 2 weeks are rather lousy. I need to be away.

Hookay. Time to hit the road.

UrgH!

I really don't understand why some men appear to be more interested in some kind of a pursuit after they know what line I'm in. Which explains why I never really liked telling people where I am working now.

Shallow hallow.

*****

On another note... I'm never your number one choice.

dejected.

Sentosa!

Taa daaaaaaa!

I'm a teeeeeny weeeeeeeeny bit tanned, and I like it! Just that my chest area and back area are.. itchy because of the burn. heh heh.


I forgot to bring a big towel for the beach. So I put out the small towel and Gigi mocked at my stupidity. After which, I couldn't take it and went to the tourist shop and got a blardi overpriced PINK bubble mat. But it's cooling and nice so I don't mind. And it shakes sand off easier than with a towel.


Saw this really adorable kid who he kept smiling at me, but turned the other way whenever I put up my camera to take a picture of him. Well, helps that the father is rather cute. Little boy is called Phoenix. He smiled shyly, then giggled, then laughed, then I took my camera and he turned the other way. bleah. I like it when kids are obedient and polite and shy.


While waiting for Gigi, I saw this man playing with his daughters, and then one of them hugged his leg, demanding to be carried. Then the other, not wanting to be left out, tugged at his berms, and he bent down to carry her as well. I want to find a man who's sweet enough to spend time with the family, to take care of the children, and be strong enough to lift them both. hur hur hur. What am I thinking about?!



Okie, so I don't exactly have a good figure, but well, Gigi is very well endowed so I hope that makes up for my lack of ... you know what.

K i'm pretty shagged still from this morning. Gotta go crash a little.

xoxo,
jenn

::sentosa::

Headed down to Sentosa with the boobalicious Gigi today, and had a bit of time to think things through. And being the forgetful me, I applied sunblock generously everywhere... except on my chest area. And. I am burnt.

Well, what can I really say or do? :)

More pictures when... GIGI SENDS THEM TO ME!

*ROOOOOOOOOARRRRRR*

::another story::

An unexpected phone call came in the wee hours of the morning, and somehow that call made me really happy even though I was woken up. :)

*****

So I went on flight, and the Boss remembered me.

"Eh you look familiar. OH! You are the silly girl I flew with to Seoul!"

Why am I always the "silly" one?

*****



Attended Common.Voices' 2nd performance last evening, and I only managed to hit the second half with 4 songs to go. I guess CV's concert is the only valid reason for all of us (including people who always fly aeroplane) to meet up. I guess it's not easy to maintain any kind of relationships, friendship included, and to be friends for... say... almost 12 years since secondary school... it's really something, eh?



Then again, some of us, even when we've been missing from one another's lives, can still hit off like old pals. It's amazing how some of us have changed, and even more amazing how some people don't change at all! Honestly, I miss being in secondary school, the dozing off in Bio lessons, Chilli and I scribbling songs on MY TABLE, hiding textbooks in the most creative way possible, running up and down to borrow textbooks... the memories are still vivid in my mind.

Then we talk about friends getting married. Marriage seemed a faraway thing in the past, but now, everyone is getting hitched. Even those whom we never thought would settle down have already settled down.



So we are the primary school mates. I guess we only knew one another in Primary 3 or 4, so that made us.... friends for almost 15 years! Then Ivy wanted to take a picture of her "Shuqun-ers" but I refused to let her use my camera. ANYWAY there are only 4 of you. I can be such a bitch. Hur hur hur.



We adjourned to my place after supper, a last minute decision which forced us to head back to Holland Village to get some wine and cheese JUST BECAUSE the lady driver (Ivy, not me) said so. And the normal thing: fussing over Charcoal when we reached. Wine, Ivy's question about my books (honestly, there are some books which I haven't even flipped open) and my lousy attempts at taking photos with the timer function. WHAT! How would I know that after each shot I have to reset the function!

A long day, a long night, but nothing beats the long friendship we all have.

Love you guys. *SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH*

One thing you should know about me (part 1)

... is never ask me questions before bedtime. Mind boggling questions like "Do lemons grow on trees?" "Why is a spaceship called a ship?"

At least I found an answer to the first question.

And questions I can't find the answers to leave me sleepless for nights on end. And then I'll get irritated.

*ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARRR!*

Zzzzz...

Was given 2 extra days off, and was back at the airport to submit my MC yesterday.

The lady at the counter was rather nice and sympathetic, and said, "Where was the nice guy who accompanied you yesterday? How come you're alone today? Must ask your boyfriend to accompany you." I smiled and said he wasn't my boyfriend, but just a friend... and she said "Oh he was so concerned I thought he was with you. Anyway it's good to have someone in your life."

I smiled awkwardly and wondered if our staff had been tasked to do matchmaking at the side.

The wound seems like it is healing well, and I hope it will be ok by Thursday.

On another note, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I'M HEADING BACK TO PAKISTAN next montH! ... WHY?! Not that I don't like the place, but... WHY DO I HAVE IT so often!

*****

I don't have exclusive rights to anything.

:(

ouch. ouch ouch ouch.

Yeap.

I now have a characteristic mark above my right eyebrow. I am DISFIGURED. *sob*

Luckily the team boy said he'll marry me. Otherwise I will be left on the shelf. Got into a mini accident on board due to some unexpected circumstances and well, sigh. I became a victim of the blardi stainless steel tray.

All because I wanted to help my soon-to-be hubby keep the kueh lapis.

So now I am on MC, and have to forgo my long-awaited flight to Frankfurt. And to make me happy, the soon-to-be hubby said he will buy stuffs on my behalf.

hur hur hur.

I got activated for Auckland tomorrow, but honestly, I still feel a little woozy. Might wanna go see the doc again for another opinion.

SIGH.

I'm broke for this month.

where'd you go?

An sms came in earlier today, after my meeting with him. It hurts to know you're seeing someone else. I love you, and have loved you since forever. But I know it will hurt you more if we are together again. I love you.

I stopped in the middle of Orchard Rd and sobbed.

I love you too.

*****

Why do I throw caution to the wind, wear my heart on my sleeve, knowing that in the end it'll lead to nowhere but hurt?

Why do I feel this way, when I don't have the right to?

Yet I can't bear to let go. What am I holding on to? A tiny little sliver of hope?

I laugh at my silliness.

*****

I promise. If after work tomorrow the pain doesn't go, I will visit a specialist.

*****

Will you still love me in the morning?

Forever and ever, babe.

xoxo,
jenn

13...

...is not such a bad number after all.

13 is when Qian will be back home.
13 is when Yan will be back home.
13 is when QQ will be back home.

Happy.

*click!*

And yes, I am still alive. Survived the flight back as well, though the pain is CONSTANTLY there. WTF is wrong with my tummy?

I can survive pretty well alone, but it does feel good when there are men around to protect you. The simplest thing can really touch me, make me go (in Jacob's words) warm and fuzzy inside. Though I think most men behave that way, but it really feels good when they get protective and want to take care of you. So I felt warm and fuzzy inside on my way home from the airport. It feels nice. :)

Then it was a last minute decision for dinner, and off to movies with D and my buddY! Had to force, threaten, and bribe her into going down town. (Goodness gracious, I really didn't know that Cineleisure has converted their 9th level into gaming and movies as well!) So we watched 'Click!' and the movie evoked much thoughts in me. I was thinking and feeling rather melancholy and sad throughout the movie, and near the end I was sobbing. I can't remember which part about the movie started me crying, the part where he realised his father died or the part where he replayed the last time he saw his dad, or the part he ran out in the rain just to tell his son that family is more important... But as I was watching the part about the daddy, I thought about him and how he would have felt during the movie.

So I sobbed. And when the anti-climax came about, I sobbed harder. Both of them turned around to stare at me. WHAT! I was crying with relief CAN!?

Me thinks this is how life works. In the process of getting to somewhere, we often miss out on a lot of things in life. Just that day I was talking to someone, and he told me how he regretted not being around when his baby took his first steps, and how, in his quest for a better life, he missed the growing-up "KODAK" moments of his baby. And how much he would have given up just to relive that moment.

Many times I wished I could go back to a certain time in life, or to pause (momentarily) a moment that I know I would cherish. And it's odd, cos when I was young, I yearned so much to just fast-forward my life to the point when I start earning my own keep, being an adult... and now that I'm one, I wish I can slow down the speed that my life is flying past at. Or better, to go back to being young again.

Oddly speaking, Le Grand Voyage hovers around a similar meaning in life for me. But the movie was about how a man got to know and understand his father when he drove his dad to Mecca, over 3000 miles from the south of France. How his father tried to show him the realities of life, and its functions. A very thought provoking movie which I wouldn't mind watching over and over again.

Couple of nights back I was chatting with D online and asked him if I give out those "come-take-care-of-me" vibes. Then he said that I have that look where people just want to keep me in their pockets, protect me from the world. And... the ex said that before, the exact same words. Ah well.

And...

::jenn:: le grand voyage says:
do i have a "come take care of me" look?
CoMpLiCaTeD © :: 我有幽闭恐惧症 says:
nope
CoMpLiCaTeD © :: 我有幽闭恐惧症 says:
u have a come fuck me look

Thanks Gigi.

g'day mate!

*brrr*

Ok so I survived the 6 hr flight to Adelaide. And crashed once I reached the room.

Adelaide is nice, too bad the stay isn't long and I didn't really feel like going out. Thought I could make a trip down to Le Cordon Bleu Adelaide but the soul is willing the flesh is weak. Or should it be the other way?

Anyway... I'm high on medication. This is the first time I'm so hooked onto the doctor's words: No spicy food, no oily food, no alcohol, medicine before food, medicine after food, medicine on empty stomach... etc. I'm suffering from withdrawal already! Why is it that whenever I'm sick, my craving for junk food like McDonald's or KFC or even potato chips increases by the minute?

Even red wine! I can practically taste the wine in my mouth!

I'm going crazy.

*****

It's cold here, even with the aircon shut off... and I feel a little silly wearing socks with my shorts. Pink socks.

*****

Okie! Time for my "Le Grand Voyage" before I hit the bed.

Happy National Day.

Au revoir!
jenn

should i or should i not?

I wonder if I should take MC or not.

Feeling lighter (emotionally & physically) after my haircut. At least now someone notices it when I cut my hair. Caught a whiff of a familiar scent as I was walking down Orchard Rd and turned around, only to see J standing behind me.

Me: I smelt you!
J: Me TOO! But I was first, cos I turned around first.

Childish boy. Haha... I haven't met him since 2 years back, and he still makes me go weak in the knees and blush like a young schoolgirl. So we went for a short coffee session and he had to rush off to a meeting which, in his words, costs an arm and a leg to set up. A hug later, he was lost in the crowd. *sob*

How we have all grown.

Ok, gonna hit the bed before my flight to Adelaide tonight. Will be home on Thursday evening, then off till Sunday.

Meet up, anyone?

*muack*

argh..

Ok, so I managed to settle the video problem I had. Anyway, fever has subsided yet the pain is still there. Sigh. I hope I can bear with the pain for ... 6 hours?

It's been a while since I had a long stretch of uninterrupted sleep. No dreams, no nightmares... and I welcome the rest!

Due for a haircut.. my hair's so long it's getting difficult to style for work.

*****

Attended Chloe's first month baby shower couple of months back, and because my monitor failed on me, couldn't post the pictures!



Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever have a family of my own.

*****

I'm off for a haircut! More pictures of Moscow when I come back.

xoxo
jenn

ouch!

Got back from the hospital not too long ago and am now painting my nails!

Ooooh, I finally got my new monitor! Though I adore my iBook, but editing word documents on that tiny little screen ain't a fun thing to do.

Oookay. So this morning I went Mustafa Centre to do some early morning/ late night shopping with D, and we went to have some breakfast. Silly me forgot my tummy wasn't really awake enough for cold "teh-ping" and I finished the whole cup with gusto, despite it being a tad too sweet. Came home with diarrhea and then the nightmare started. Cowering with the sudden shot of pain every 5 minutes wasn't a fun thing to do. Started feeling really sick, and the pain didn't go even after a scrumptious lunch at KFC. So it went on, and on, and on, and then at night I couldn't take it and started crying while driving because of the pain.

And the doctor said that if my fever and pain don't subside by tomorrow, I have to admit myself into hospital for suspected stomach ulcers.

No alcohol, no smokies.

How can it be THAT serious?!

DAMN.

It still hurts. Hope I don't have to report sick tomorrow. *crosses fingers*

HOokay. My red red nails are almost dry. Time for bed. I am a good girl today. Early to bed.

painfully yours,
jenn

colourful shanghai...

HeylO! I'm back from Shanghai!

You know how.. sometimes you feel that you did a great job at work, and at times you really feel lousy about yourself? This is one of the few times that I felt I could have done so much better. And these few flights I've been feeling really under the weather.

Ah well.

Met up with Qian, who happened to be there as well. Called me when she woke up, and this was how our conversation went:

Q: Sheraton Tai Ping Yang right?
me: Yeah... you taking cab down?
Q: Yeap, what's your room number?
me: 618... i'll meet you at the reception.
Q: *silence*
me: hmm?
Q: dear, you know my room number is 618 too?

So she took the cab, a good 40 min ride all the way from Pudong to Puxi, where I was resided. Then it was a "I'm-hungry-and-I-need-food" shopping at the plaza opposite the hotel, and we bummed in my room over Choya, red wine, sushi and junk food.

So my plan to lose weight has been pushed back yet another day. And I foresee another day, and another day and another day...

Then we headed out after hours of bumming in the room, and then we forced ourselves to go out for a walk. Hopped onto a cab and got ourselves to Xin Tian Di, a really nice place to chill, food and all. Wished we could stay longer, but she commented I couldn't keep my eyes open and we left for home.



I know the photos suck, but that's the best my handphone could handle cos our sweet little lass Qian drained her camera out of batt by taking narcissistic photos of herself.

*hur hur hur*

In a kissy mood today.

MUACK~!

xoxo
jenn

someone from the familiar past...

"You haven't changed, Jenn."

"hmmm? Older, perhaps?"

"You're still you, your looks and everything... the vibes you give out. The crazy wild you. Still the same as before, when I fell in love with you years back."

"Ya right. I'm older, and probably jaded. Fatter perhaps."

"Would you consider me then, if you weren't with him?"

"Hmmm, I wouldn't know. Anything could happen, couldn't it?"

"Would you consider me now, that you aren't with anyone?"

"I don't know. Anything can happen."

*****

Bittersweet love.

*****

I love reading National Geographic. I love the pictures within and sometimes I wonder how photographers capture the hurt and the pain in someone's eyes. It fascinates me.

*****

Off to Shanghai tonight, then back on Sunday afternoon. Can't wait to meet up with Qian there, and probably off to drinks and music.

夜上海。

xoxo,
jenn

::replacement::

I'm always the replacement people, the space filler. The one who people go to when they need to fill time in between slots. But we all are guilty of finding people to fill in the spaces in our lives one time or another.

Just probably it's happened to me more than "one time or another".

The number of times I've been prepositioned propositioned by men who are married or attached are so many times more than nice and simple single men it's not funny and I'm starting to wonder if I just give out that kind of vibes.

Hur hur. Doomed for a life of being second-best.

Hokie. So I'm now a little nearer to removing that BIG "P" sign next to my name, and starting to wonder what I'm going to do with my life. Oh yes, it's still toooo early to say, but then, no harm planning way way ahead right?

Laugh all you want. I know I'm never a planner, but I can still try planning for that wee-little bit of free time I have ok!

I am planning to go back to dancing. I've done ballroom cha-cha, waltz, tango, salsa... a little of exotic dance... And now I'm thinking of doing pole dancing. Anyone wants to go with me? Ever since Paul won the scholarship to US to learn dancing full-time, I've been wondering if I should have pursued my interests in music and the arts. I ran my fingers on the ivories today, and despite not having practiced on the piano for so long, it's good to hear that I still play pretty much a-ok.

There're so many things I want to do!

frustrated,
jenn

*edit: propositioned...not prepositioned. heh.*

Kiss - Because I'm a girl...

One of the songs which can make me cry like a dam let loose.

First saw the MTV when it first came out, and even though I didn't know what the lyrics meant, the MTV was enough to touch me. I found this MTV with the English subtitles... and now it made me cry even more knowing what the lyrics meant.

One line though, was extremely funny. "Although I will curse you I will miss you." hur hur. Case of translation gone .. wrong.

Still...

I wonder how it feels like to see through the eyes of the person you love. Would the world still look the same? Or would the world look brighter in your eyes?

I wonder.

kiss.

Japan overdose...

Back-to-back Japan flights are not good on the wallet and figure. I just OD-ed on 100 yen shopping, Japanese snacks, food, and I've had enough of the TV channels there.

Glad to be home somehow. Yet not.

Oh, and tomorrow I'm off to Ikoi. DAMN. More Japanese food.

I so love love love soba noodles. I'm addicted.

*****

Did some really crazy shopping in Narita with the teamies, then I dragged them to the temple with me. We bummed around for a while, and though there was nothing much to do, we drove ourselves crazy by dragging one another out of the 100 yen shops.

I'm happy for nice teamies.

*****

Many plans lined up for this week. Which is good.

Next up: Shanghai! Normally I doubt I would be that happy to do that flight, but I'm seeing Qian!

Ok, i should be off to bed. Tired.

xoxo
jenn