it feels weird lah.

Somehow I still don't feel what I think I am supposed to feel when in such a position. But well, I can't control it, can i?

So the experience on this new aircraft ain't that bad after all, but I feel like i've worked till i'm about to drop dead.

Didn't do much in Zurich though, headed out to the Old Town and walked about a bit... Finally I'm headed to Paris again. Je t'aime je t'aime je t'aime!

ouchhhhhh
cramps hurt.

ouuuuuuuuuucccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

the weather's been erratic, and so has my moods.

But still, I managed to go for a bit of a tan session and swim with Gigi. Just the other night as I was leaving NP, I looked up into the sky, and I saw many stars despite the fact that the area I was in was brightly lit. One hope per star. I hope my wishes come true.

i have no mood

for anything.

All I want to do now is to just stay home and be near to family. I finally broke down when I was in Melbourne. Walking around, I couldn't help but think about things happening at home, and then when I went back to the hotel, I sat at the window, stared out into the distance at a ferris wheel lighting up, and I started sobbing.

Poor friends and mum got shocked when I called and then sobbed into the phone.

But it always feels good after a cry.

So yeah.

Oh cry has no vowels in it, and wry, shy, dry, try...

k bye.

I'm in a very random mode now. Sigh.

You know (actually I don't think you know), when people ask what scares me most, I'd always say losing my memory. I have many things I never bother to jot down or to make a picture of, many memories which can date back to even when I was 4 or 5 years old, things which I remember vividly even till today. And the worst thing that could happen? I lose my memory and I lose all those happy, sad, angry, grieving... moments that I treasure so deeply.

It's scary, to wake up one day, staring at the ceiling and suddenly not remembering what had happened in your life before you woke up, wondering if you've ever loved and lost, wondering if you've ever been happy. Wondering if you've ever been bad, if you've ever broken anyone's hearts, or if you've ever grieved for a loved one. Wondering if you've ever felt love, anger, hate, hurt, sadness all at once. Wondering if... you've ever lived at all.

Isn't it scary?

It is, to me. And I can lose anything, just not my memory.

Oh and charcoal. Oh and my family. Oh and.. ah well.

I ate many egg tarts today. I'm gonna be so so so so sick.

...and so i guess...

...that every relationship does have their honeymoon period, and it probably goes downhill from then on.

On the way back, R was just talking to me about how people change. And it somehow stung me quite a bit, and I feel very... scared and afraid.

I guess there's nothing much for anyone to do except to sit and wait.

Paris, je te manques!

Watching View From The Top on tv and seeing the sights of Paris again, made me miss the City of Romance even more. In a way, the training for the new aircraft does finally give me the possibility of getting flights to Paris again, but I don't really look forward to working on that aircraft.

Argh.

Oh how I miss Paris.

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a groovy kind of love...

When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue
When you're close to me, I can feel your heart beat
I can hear you breathing near my ear
Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love

Anytime you want to you can turn me onto
Anything you want to, anytime at all
When I kiss your lips, ooh I start to shiver
Can't control the quivering inside
Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love, oh

When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue
When I'm in your arms, nothing seems to matter
My whole world could shatter, I dont care
Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love

We got a groovy kind of love


Soppy, cheesy, but yeah. :)

waiting...

... is the worst thing to do when your heart and mind are in a big, big mess.

been cancelling appointments with friends and all, just because I don't have the mood to go. I wish dad'll be ok.

Sigh. Who goes to China without going for massage? Me. My back hurts, and doctor's orders were to stay away from massages for a while. So I can only let them attack my feet. But it ain't gonna be enough!!

Anyway anyway, my favourite ice cream! http://www.benjerry.com.sg/ Go visit the site! They are giving out free ice cream on 17 April! Anyone around to join me in getting fat?

Ok I am tired. I just touched down not too long ago and I fought a war on board. hehehe

i lurve medicated plasters.

Ouch.

Pain.

Aack.

I love medicated plasters on my back.

One thing I love about London is the long walks in the park. I pretty much enjoy the solitude sometimes, and walking from Hyde Park to Kensington Park gives me the chance to actually set my mind at ease. Another reason why I love London is the fact that I can meet up with friends here.

And on my way to High Street Kensington:


A squirrel!
the little thing was busy peeling its acorn, and when he saw me coming, he ran off to another corner and buried the nut in the ground.

Heading home tomorrow, and meeting the guys after I touch down.

:)