I'm in a very random mode now. Sigh.

You know (actually I don't think you know), when people ask what scares me most, I'd always say losing my memory. I have many things I never bother to jot down or to make a picture of, many memories which can date back to even when I was 4 or 5 years old, things which I remember vividly even till today. And the worst thing that could happen? I lose my memory and I lose all those happy, sad, angry, grieving... moments that I treasure so deeply.

It's scary, to wake up one day, staring at the ceiling and suddenly not remembering what had happened in your life before you woke up, wondering if you've ever loved and lost, wondering if you've ever been happy. Wondering if you've ever been bad, if you've ever broken anyone's hearts, or if you've ever grieved for a loved one. Wondering if you've ever felt love, anger, hate, hurt, sadness all at once. Wondering if... you've ever lived at all.

Isn't it scary?

It is, to me. And I can lose anything, just not my memory.

Oh and charcoal. Oh and my family. Oh and.. ah well.

I ate many egg tarts today. I'm gonna be so so so so sick.