i don't know why my blogger is forever stuck in italiano, even now as i am logging in from Shanghai.

feel like i've overworked myself, and that i should have just treasured my off days instead of crazily doing flights. but yet that's the other source of income that i can now foresee myself having, and somehow rest time doesnt matter so much when i think about the money i can earn.

probably i am being too practical, or too money driven. but i can't stop thinking how the money would be helpful to my family, and the fact that mum never asks me for money keeps me worried that she's not asking because she doesn't want us to be tied down by money matters.

thing is, she doesn't realise i already am. i've been debating within myself if i should forgo the money i can earn for the long flight for nothing but off days to myself. it's a huge huge huge huge huge difference in the pay if i don't work. but at least i can rest. oh well.

i think i'm just being very incoherent here. the sleeping pills are kicking in a lot faster than before.