Tuesday, May 30, 2006

i give up.

I give up waiting for nicely rostered flights. The only good thing about the new roster is that I will be going down to Moscow. Sad thing, that I won't be going on flights with my team, and can't go out with my newly found travel companion.

Heading down to Sydney tomorrow... wonder what the flight would bring. I hope I survive tomorrow well.

Probably still feeling a little dejected about the new roster.

*****

Got tricked by the IFS on the previous sector from Shanghai, and was given the name Little Miss Naive on board.

I should really stop taking what people say at face value, huh?

*****

Met up with the 853 guys last night for a short dinner in Marina South and drinks at Cosy Bay. Brought back memories which I tried to fight back.


Vincent, Darren, Jacob & I

I miss training with the gang.

*****

I really should be sleeping now, as it's an early reporting tomorrow. But I just can't get to sleep.

I'm such a melancholic person, and I have a lot of memories inside me. Everytime I chance upon something that played a role in my life before, I would think of the past.

*****

I really shouldn't feel so attached.

*****

Was just chatting with Ah Fat, and in whatever relationship, it takes two hands to clap, both parties to make the effort to make things work. But, like I told him, as we grow older, somehow we put in less effort into making something work out. And then it comes the part on expectations. I don't know if I can live up to someone's expectation of me, and I wonder if I sometimes expect too much from someone, or anyone.

*****

Sometimes u need to just open ur heart a bit,
it's tough la.. esp after what u have gone thru.


I wish I could. I can't wear my heart on my sleeve, and get hurt all over again. I'm a coward. Life is about taking risks, but love is not a risk I think I can take.

xoxox,
jenn

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Totally agree ith what you said about: 'in whatever relationship, it takes two hands to clap, both parties to make the effort to make things work.' But does that mean 1 side will just give up if the other side is not putting any effort in at all? If 1 side is trying hard to keep in touch but the other is like super duper bochap, should 1 just give up altogether? or that someone simply is just toooooo busy?

Anonymous said...

If you choose to close your heart, dun expect the other to open his for you. And dun expect something more out of it. It takes more than just effort...it takes courage. You won't know a lot of outcome unless you have tried it. But if u keep on wondering, then your whole life would be about wondering. Do u want that? or rather do u want to go ahead and take a risk? Who knows u may even earn a bonus? Getting sad and hurt are part and parcel of life. But if the fear of that hinders you...let me ask u, what kinda emotions are u gg thru now? do u feel better? or worse than getting hurt?