Je me déteste!

La femme est triste.

Happened to chat to A over MSN before I left for Bali. He said that the ex's current gf resembles me in so many ways he felt weird.

I don't know how to describe the feeling I had after I heard it.

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I used to love cooking, and always cooked or baked for him... and it really felt great when he beamed and said he loved the food. Cooking used to be an act of love between us both... but now, I feel lethargic whenever I step into the kitchen to cook, and haven't been doing so for ages.

Probably should start baking stuffs again.

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Bali was alright, I didn't go for massage due to the back strain I had (which, is now getting a lot better) and so I had a good sleep in the hotel room. Flight back was alright, slowly feeling I can handle short flights a lot better. I wondered what life would be like if i hadn't taken up this job. Would I find something I like? Would I be happy?

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Then came this Jakarta turn early this morning. Leading said I did a good job and commended me to my team IFS, but I felt really lousy on the way up. I thought I could do a lot better, but yet I don't know how. Almost wanted to give up. Hoped very much to see someone after the flight so that I could probably feel a little better, but never got the chance to. Good thing I had someone to accompany me and to hear me whine over lunch and coffee, and friends who are online to put up with my nonsense.

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I've evolved into a boring person!!! My off days are spent mostly at home sleeping! What happened to activities?!

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I love long aimless drives, without any place in particular, just driving and driving and driving. I want to drive off the beaten track, admire rows of trees or the clear blue sky as I drive, or maybe on a jeep, drive into the wilderness, enjoy the bumpiness of the ride, feel the rain on my skin... feel the wind in my hair... have the sun's rays warm my soul...

Ah well, I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to do so.

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ARGH!

Ok, that scream was really random but I just wanted to let off steam. BOoOooOooOOOOOO.

I love it when Charcoal cuddles up to me in his sleep, and it feels good to feel him huddled against me. But I really don't appreciate the fact that he sleeps on my pillow with his ass facing my nose. And though I think he's smart to have learnt how to open the door, I wish he could close the door after him sometimes, because HE WILL STILL TRY TO PUSH THE DOOR OPEN WHEN IT IS ALREADY OPEN! After which, he would strut in with an indignant look on his face. He is royalty at home. No one disturbs the Highness. No one tells the Highness what to do.

Now His Highness is staring at me. ROARRRRRRRRRRRRR

I can't wait to get back from London so I can meet up with some friends. Oh dear. I haven't done the flight and I'm already looking forward to coming back.

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Come home quick Ah Fat and Yan. I miss hanging out with the gang.

xoxox,
Jenn