Life is...

... full of contradiction. Ever made up your mind to never end up in a certain job, be with certain types of people, or do certain things, to end up being in that certain job, with those certain types of people, or doing those certain things?

I have.

Was in Kensington Park taking a walk when I saw a sign stating "No Cycling" and just on that path, I saw cyclists. Why bother putting signs when people are sure to still break them? I wonder.

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Have you been so unhappy that you cannot remember what happiness means? And you grow to be happy with being unhappy?

Someone posed me this question. And that probably summed up what I have been feeling the past few days. Or rather, weeks. More likely, months. OH who cares.

I guess I kinda forgot how happiness feels. Gone are the days when everything around me seemed bright and cheery no matter how grey they actually are. Gone are the days when I feel light, and not weighed down by anything at all. Gone are the days when I could laugh heartily and happily and just not give a damn to weird stares. Gone are the days when I feel carefree, and not be bothered by anything at all.

I just want to be happy again. But how can I when my heart is strongly guarded? How can I be happy when I don't allow myself that little bit of happiness?

Or where can I find my happiness?

What the f*ck am I babbling about?

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I miss watching soccer with the guys. I miss the lazy lounging at pubs, watching the matches on big screens. I miss drinking beer and being just one of the guys with the guys.

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I kinda like the smell of cigars.

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Some pictures from London...



And there you go! Xiao Chang and I in my room. Thanks for staying over dear. Though we've been friends only a short while, thank you for being there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to.



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Oh oh. And I saw this sign at the airport while waiting for my brother to touch down from Hong Kong (and OH WAIT. I AM STILL WAITING.)



Please refrain from sleeping in the establishment. Thank you for your cooperation.

NO SLEEPING OK!

No sleeping.
At all.

hur hur hur.

xoxox,
jenn