little miss manners.

getting married is such a hassle.

the wedding preparations... i wonder why people would put themselves through all this trouble. probably why wedding planners are great help. and the fact i won't be seen in a wedding dress anytime soon, makes me feel grateful that i'm not the bridezilla-to-be.

people ask me why i left the public relations line.. cos it seemed so fun and vibrant... and i told them in honesty that sometimes i'm tired of having my brain churn out politically correct answers which somehow can be untrue but sounds 100% true. and then u bring that kinda mentality home. you start talking to loved ones using politically correct answers, forming questions which will lead them to answer it the way you want them to.... and then it defeats the purpose of being truthful and open with your friends and loved ones, doesn't it?

you start being particular about mannerisms, because in PR, image matters. you get particular about the way people talk, because in PR, perception matters.

i am little miss manners, and i ain't shy to admit that. I like it and appreciate it when people display good manners; the basic being saying their 'p's and 'q's. During meal times, i don't like to stare into the inside of someone's mouth; and i don't know how to appreciate loud chomping. i can be a prude, or a bitch at that, but to me, it's just basic manners that one observes.

Telephone conversations are important as well. I don't like to hang up when there's no firm ending to the call; meaning, if both parties do not say goodbye, or when one party doesn't acknowledge the goodbye, then the phone call hasn't really ended, has it? it irks me to no end when someone hangs up after he/she has finished their side of the conversation, and with a 'thank you' or 'bye' they just hang up, while i am probably not yet done with the call. it makes me feel really really ignored.

maybe it's just me. i am a prude. there are just so many instances i can't stomach, and as much as i know i should just try to live with it, i hate the fact that it destroys my mood for the day.

i'm not perfect with manners, either. I do the hang up on people thing when i'm pissed. childish i know, but i get pissed and i'll just not bother. I just don't make bad manners a habit. or make bad habits become lousy manners.

so there.

i'm a prude. i'm a bitch when it comes to manners. shoot me.

hooookay!

so today i got my arse out of the bed, washed and waxed the car (both interior and exterior), brought charcoal out for a run, bathed and groomed him, read some books, did some drawings, and packed some books away, and the freaking irritating thing is, I AM TIRED but i just can't get to sleep.

i did charity today to this group of mosquitoes which made their presence known within 5 minutes with 6 mosquito bites. OOOooh how i hate mosquitoes.

somehow i feel that i still like the loud clicking sound of my ibook compared to the silence when i'm working on a macbook, or macbook pro. i like the clickety click. and ultimately, it's my very first ibook.

on a very different note.. sometimes i think about the relationships i've had when i was younger. those 'set your heart palpitating' kinda crushes that turned into relationships, those talks and promises of the future over late night phone chats, and just mindless, endless walks and busrides to nowhere... it's just puzzling how as i moved on in life, i seldom experience those ... i wouldn't even call it feelings.... but occurrences? long late night phone chats have been slowly replaced with late night sms-es of good nights, mindless endless walks replaced with long drives...

i don't know if i have an idea of a perfect guy, or a perfect relationship that i work towards. in all honesty, i guess i'm old enough to know that there's nothing perfect in this world, and we only make something as perfect as we can. i might not be with the cutest guy in the whole world, but i am with a guy i find really adorable when he makes me laugh even when i'm pissed... we prob might not look compatible because he looks younger than he is and i look older than i really am, but i feel we're compatible when it comes to maturity and knowledge; he might make me pissed at times with his nonsensical talk, still, we communicate a lot on other aspects... so i might not have a perfect partner, but i have someone who is near perfect, and suits me more than just fine.

i probably sound mushy at this point... but the past few days i've been listening to others' relationship woes.. and just being grateful for all that i have.

ok gotta go sleep.

weird dreams

the past few nights, i've been having weird recurring dreams... not totally identical, but similar in many instances.. dreams where i lose money, or i am seen giving money away, or just totally broke.

so everything is about money. and then i went to search for the meaning of my dreams.

To dream that you lose money, signifies temporary unhappiness in the home and a few setbacks in your affairs. You may be feeling weak, vulnerable, and out of control in your waking life. Additionally, you may be lacking ambition, power and self-esteem.

To dream about giving money away, is analogous to giving love. You are looking for love. To see others giving money away, suggests that you are feeling ignored or neglected. Someone is not paying enough attention and showing enough affection toward you.

To dream that you have no money, denotes that you have a fear of losing your place in the world or that you feel that you lack the abilities needed to achieve some desired goal. You may be overlooked or neglected by others.

how apt.

i kind set a few things in place when i got back from London. Which was good timing, given the fact that i was no longer happy with the arrangements and now that i'm kinda able to handle my own affairs i'm feeling a tad better. just that i'm jealous the Man is having fun eating wanton noodles and mango desserts in hongkong now, and i can only get to do that next week. or 2 weeks later.

oOOOoh well.

london bridge has frozen.

Val told me that "YAY IT'S FINALLY SUMMER AND IT'S WARM AND SUNNY!" and 4 days later she told me it's cold cold.

So now i am here in London. AND summer's kinda GONE.

and Hong Kong got me missing all the late night wanton noodles, mango desserts and oh-so-yummy dimsum. and macau's egg tarts.

ok ok ok i oughta go prepare to go out meet MS BRIDEZILLA..

a random random post cos i'm just so sleepy.

hmmm.

I think the hard truth about getting old is you tend to have more alumni clubs to join, more weddings to attend, and probably more wrinkles on your forehead.

somehow i miss sitting behind the desk, doing all the press releases, marketing stuff, events handling and all, yet sometimes i feel so lazy i'd rather spend my free time surfing the web, reading books, catching up with sleep, or just chatting online.

it's one of those random days again, and it's near 5am in the morning.

shucks i better go to bed.

cookies 'n cream

i'm now sitting at gloria jeans on flinders st, staring outside as people and cars pass me by. gigi stayed over last night with me in crown, just because she's in melbourne to visit her brother n gf.. and she made me walk back to e hotel just because she left her toiletries there. so i did, while she goes off shopping. i'm a nice friend.

i'm not much of a coffee drinker, but days i do i love cuppucinos, strong black coffee and the occasional ice blends.. cookies n cream from gloria jeans is my current favourite..yummy yummy yum.

i wonder what i'd have done with my life had i taken another path to walk on. it puzzles me nonetheless..how we are always on one path and thinking about another. does this apply to relationships as well?

my current never-to-leave-home-without item is my new pocket camera. i was in a bookshop one day n chanced upon this photo book 'memories for my son'... and i thought about how few photos i have with dad..how i never knew but could only imagine his life from the few photos that we have of him... and i decided i don't want to leave the world, my family.. like that. i want to document everything, happy or sad... and keep it. in my memory, in photos.

and this msn chat with qian while typing this entry got me thinking.. why did things that were supposed to be done out of goodwill, out of kindness...and supposed to be from the heart... become the standard procedure in things we do? sometimes i don't understand why we have to rush thru certain things when they emphasize on offering premium experience. and how people like to make others feel lousy about themselves. it irks me. very much.

i'm slowly outstaying my welcome here.. gotta go grab my things and rush back for my simpsons' marathon on fox 8.

can't wait to go home.