listening to Luther Vandross' 'Dance With My Father' and struggling to keep my tears within.

there are sometimes i feel like just being depressed and stay in the room to wallow in self pity. and this, is one of the few times i allowed myself to. just got back from a long day with colleagues, and after a day of cinema hopping, shopping, and aimless walking, ending with coffee and dinner in the room, i am finally allowed time to myself, to think about things, think about myself.

just wondering how much i've changed and all. and certainly, at times, hating who i've become. and in many instances, memories of the past does seem a lot happier and easier to deal with compared to now. i don't know how to handle this new change in me, this newfound ... frustration that i always have. this impatience, this..

and i'm wearing down everyone around me, i guess. or am i being too hard on myself?

bumped into a secondary school senior the other night, and at the same place, a junior. all of us about 2 years apart from one another, and yet, we chatted like old friends.

and now, listening to Dick Lee's 'Life Story'. yes, depressing songs on my iTunes but well, it's the mood i have now.

i read somewhere, that men seek for ideal loves, while women, just love with all their hearts. is that true?

pardon the randomness.