My leave is almost half gone, and so far everything's a-ok. Koh Samui was real fun, and well, despite the fact that it was so last minute-ly booked, the resort was really quite nice.

Well, at least up till the last night, when I woke up feeling very very hot cos the air conditioner broke down in the room. So I called the reception and the rising temperature did nothing to calm my frenzied nerves.

me: "hi, morning, sorry, the airconditioner in my room is spoilt."
receptionist: "morning ma'am. you want wake-up call?"
me: "huh? no, the airconditioner in my room is spoilt."
receptionist: "you want wake-up call? what time?"
me: "No, i don't need any wake-up calls, the air conditioner is spoilt!"
receptionist: "what time? what time?"
me: "NO, NO Wake up calls! Airconditioner is spoilt, very hot!"
receptionist: "ooooohhh.. air conditioner spoilt. ok, i send someone, 5 minutes."
me: "... thank you."

well, so yeah, apart from this incident the rest of the trip went pretty well.

Anyway I thought through a lot of things after this trip, and yeah, maybe things could be different, but at the moment, I wonder if they'd ever change. I know, i know, what i am talking about is very very vague, but when it comes to matters of the heart it'll never be clear. Sometimes, no matter how similar two people are, no one can ever replace the first one who occupied that special place in your heart.

And i doubt i'll ever be that one. I can't fight with memories. I can't contend with what the past held and what the future could have been. Could that sudden realization be the reason why I haven't been happy recently? Possibly.

sigh. I can't do it after all.