just feeling a little emo tonight.

i have been feeling overwhelmed lately, sometimes thinking about the past, about dad, about home, about money, well, almost everything. i guess we're no longer seeing dad anymore, what with the so-called "ban", and all I could think was dad lying in bed helpless.

i keep saying i wish i can do more, but i've gone to the hospital, stood in the lobby, and then turn home because i couldn't bring myself to see dad in that state. i've grown to accept that even if he should wake up one day, he won't be the same as before, and with all chances, he'd probably not even remember us.

and then i thought about how as a kid, i used to pretend that i'd fallen asleep in the car. and just so he could carry me back home into bed.

just feeling overwhelmed now.

delhi was good. very good in fact. surprisingly. and i kinda miss being in delhi with the rest of them now.