Feliz Navidad... Joyeux Noël... frohe Weihnachten...

and christmas day to me... is just a sign that the year is ending.

looking back on 2007, i don't know if i am happy, or sad; hopeful, or dejected... all i know is, it wasn't easy for me to move on, and i still find it difficult sometimes to move on. yet the world doesn't stop turning, and time never stops for me. my problems, compared to those of the world... are always small. words from the wise one, who many years back, gave me endless encouragement and support.

how many of us are willing to let go of the past, then? I know i can't. and i am not willing. the past brings many wonderful memories which... sometimes evoke a lot of emotions. yet happy memories are never happier, sad memories just seem sadder.

perhaps i sound very morbid. but i am. never a day passes by without me feeling the hurt of the loss, or without me reliving the day i got the news. letting go is not easy. either that, or maybe i just don't want to let go.

and it's just 7 more days to the new year. and i wonder if one year ago on this date i was looking forward to anything at all. what should i be seeking in this year to come? what should be my new goals? i know nothing, and i yearn for nothing anymore.

but yet, christmas... the mere thought of it meant snow, turkey, gifts, fireplace.... pictures we grew up with in connection to the festival. should it always be a happy festival? do people cry on christmas?

and so, i post my favourite christmas song, and one i find especially meaningful today, this year.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.

Merry Christmas everyone.