Brrr...

Sometimes when Charcoal sleeps, he would toss and turn about, and then his front legs will be in a weird pose.

I wonder if he dreams, and what he dreams about.

How I wish I could know.

I could write down my dreams, my thoughts, but Charcoal... the only way we communicate with him would be through his whines, his reactions and actions.

I wonder if he loves us as much as we love him. I wonder if he knows.

I wonder if he complains to the other dogs whenever he meets them at the Dog Run on Sundays.

I wonder if he misses us when we're not around.

I wonder how it's like to be him.

~~~~~~

I read Gigi's post on her accident and it brought back a very scary memory. I was lucky to not have gone through the exact same tormenting experience as her, but it was enough to scare me shitless. (Now I know why I am constantly constipated.)

Couple of years ago, J asked me out for supper, as he was feeling lousy and needed someone to talk to. He came and picked me up in his new Subaru, and we went for a drive.

After supper at Al-Ameen (Bukit Timah), we decided to go on ECP cos I adore the night scene of Raffles Place/ City Hall there. But well, that bugger wasn't in the right mind to really drive. Upset lah, what to do? And I was still learning how to drive then, so I couldn't offer to drive. We got on ECP, and then suddenly he stepped on the accelerator and the whole car jerked forward. I looked at him, and his eyes were affixed on the road. His knuckles turned white from gripping the car steering wheel, and I lost my tongue. I still remember that lurching feeling I had, (how to admire night scene like that huH! Saw nothing but a blur!) and I asked if he were ok in a meek voice. He didn't hear, and went on speeding. I guess I was really freaked out, not by the speed at he was driving, but by the look in his eyes. I grabbed the seat tightly, and closed my eyes, tears threatening to fall.

Then I think he saw my face and suddenly slowed his car. (Now that I think about it, it must be because of the speed camera near the Fort Road exit. Bugger, and I thought he cared about me.) I cried, he cried, and we decided to go home and cry.

That incident made me realise how fragile life is, and how a moment of foolishness can turn into a lifetime of regret. I still like speeding in my car once in a while, but it is always only after the drive that I would feel that it was dangerous, and not during the ride.

Just hope nothing happens to me man. I don't want my friends to eat curry chicken under my block. (Touch wood!)

Ok, enough of nonsense.

Au demain~