Of boring days and tough weather...

Right now, I would love to have a glass of champagne in my hand.

Managed to finish an *cough* assignment long due this afternoon, and before that, I went down to TP to find Gigi. It's been a long while since I last visited TP after graduation, and I don't know what feelings I have towards it. I mean, I've had great times there, and I've had my most heartbreaking experience there too... and well, I don't know how much it has changed, cos I dragged Charcoal along and I doubt it would be nice to bring him into the school.

Haven't been resting much since I quit my job. Rather funny, cos I've been trying to fill my time with a lot of things I always didn't have time for... like going out with Mum, meeting up with friends for lunch... I need to do some reading! Assignments!!!

Ah well, was thinking about what job I want to get.

When I was very young, I yearned to be a teacher. It seemed so cool to have a pointer, and point to the big big words in the big big books while all the children go silent while listening to the stories. I used to bug mum for a pointer, and I remember one cost about $6 in those days (mind you, not too far away, cos I am still rather young). I would then sit my cousins and brother down, take a story book and try pathetically to point using my pointer, and read them stories from the books. Then when I grew up, I had the opportunity to do relief teaching at some primary schools, and by then I've worn out my teaching desire. Teaching is a great job to be in, the children can really climb over your head bring you lots of joy. Had fun with the kids when I was teaching... Their innocence and zeal to share never fail to astound me.

I love music, and since young, I've been playing the piano. I am full of admiration for my piano teacher, for whenever her fingers are on the keyboard, they seem to just dance around like magic. I wished then, to be a piano teacher when I grow up, and used to coach my brother on the piano (yes, he learnt piano for a while) the same way my piano teacher taught me. In the past few years, I have been teaching piano lessons to 2 little boys, and they are very talented and adorable! So, piano teaching desire satisfied.

I love singing, and always thought choral conductors were great musicians and magicians. The choir sings at the mercy of the wand, or so I thought then. So when I was in the choir in secondary school, I was given the title Student Conductor due to my musical background, and during a concert, did my maiden role as a conductor for a song. It felt weird having the whole choir stare down at me, and, though I wasn't that great as a conductor, I'm still proud of my contribution to the choir. That said, conductor desire satisfied.

Then I had this dream to be an actress. I was in the Drama Club in primary school, and I liked acting, as it allows me to be anyone I want to be. I took part in plays, I did silly little acts, and it was fun! Well, I satisfied that desire too, by being a TV extra during the same time I was doing relief teaching (after 'O' levels). I wasn't in there just to be with the artistes... it was nice getting to know the artistes personally, albeit not close, after a while. The money was great too! Just need to walk here and there then job is over. Acting isn't an easy job... everyone plays a part in making the production work. Ok, acting desire satisfied.

Oh, and once I wanted to be a chef. Yeap. I can cook. Edible or not... that's another story altogether. I love eating, and am always fazed by the cooking shows on TV. Then in poly, as I was doing Hospitality Management, I had the opportunity to work in the restaurant run by our coursemates as a cook. Well, I love it! That's the most memorable time in my poly days... I still wish to be a chef though, but I'm just not willing to get the low pay, and slog the rest of my life away. It takes time for someone to reach the position of Executive Chef. Cooking desire, satisfied, but could be more..

I had wanted to be an events organiser, a chairperson, and just to be in charge. That opportunity jumped at me when I was involved in student activities in the poly. Had to run a few events, some I helped out, some I organised, and yeah, it was great fun. Learnt a lot of things from all that I participated... and again... desires satisfied.

Sigh. All my desires satisfied. So how now? What to do now? Must think of more desires to fulfil.

But then again, perhaps I'm holding back from doing the things I want to do. I love arts, performing arts especially, but yet I fear that if I should devote myself to arts, I would not be able to earn as much as I could if I am in another industry. Sad truth huh. I am bound by the norm, and what bullshit about following your dreams? Unless I can convince myself that money is not everything... I doubt I would ever get to do something I really really love.

Insanely,
Me.