The Resignation

I've tendered my resignation, spoke to the boss just now.

She wasn't taking it very well, and I could understand why. I chose to leave her at a time when we have new clients on hand, all for my own selfish reasons. A small part of me wants to stay, whereas a larger part of me is telling me to go.

It's never easy to want out of something. I've never left a job (although only 2) feeling happy with the decision. There are feelings and emotions attached... I thought very long, even right up till the last minute, if I should carry on with my decision.

Even till now, I still don't know whether this decision is right. It seems right to me, to leave in search of something I have passion for. Yet, to leave the boss in a lurch seems too wrong.

Perhaps she sees no need in maintaining a good relationship with me now that I'm leaving, she started to throw tantrums at me, commanding me to do a lot of things with a sacarstic tone in her voice.

I guess I asked for it.

I'm not feeling too good about this resignation either. No one was truly supportive I guess, and I can understand why. But perhaps they didn't see the fear that I have, the fear of not being able to secure another job, the fear of not being able to spend and splurge like before, the fear of having to save till the last penny, the fear of having to borrow money from parents or (gasp!) live off them, the fear of regretting this decision: so many uncertainties, so much fear! Yet I want to take this risk to find a job I truly yearn for.

I just need some support, some assurance. Especially from people I love. Maybe it's too much to ask for.