Christmas is... Love..

Christmas has come and gone... but this year, Christmas seemed to be like any other day. Apart from the usual gift exchanges, parties, it felt no different from other days.

It's sad how Christmas seems to hold lesser meaning to me as the years pass by. Perhaps I'm pretty morbid towards such special occasions. But well, life's a bitch.

Last Christmas, I remember being with him at a jazz concert, and a depressing heart-to-heart talk after the concert in the carpark. My heart was shattered then, but I still hung on. This year, he and I became nothing but strangers. No well-wishing messages, no heartfelt hugs, no exchange of gifts... which is good in a way, since I don't feel that much for him already.

Hopefully next year Christmas will be better.

Yes, I know Christmas is over, but still I love this song:

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on, our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.

disappearances, disappointments.

I've been pretty caught up with training, work, school, and my health recently. Finally the flu is gone, hopefully no bronchitis, but the cough stays still.

On another note, I've been pretty disappointed at myself, doing things I shouldn't be doing, and knowing that such incidents would have repercussions.

How am I feeling? Lousy, plus a bit of hurt.

I wish I could have been more in control, to have prevented certain things from happening.

Now, I guess I can only weep and wallow in self pity.

changes...

I was having a chat with a long time friend, someone whom I haven't really spoken to, not because we are busy, but rather because a part of me didn't want to.

We've changed. But you changed so much faster than I can keep up. I lost hold, and perhaps that's why we're not the close friends we once were. I still remember the times when you, Aloy and I had fun running the student group. The time where you were a caring boyfriend to my best friend.

I'm not a perfect person either, but I try not to hurt people I love. It is not for me to judge if you've tried your best, but our friendship faltered.

Where are you? Where had you been? I really missed the funny and witty you, the one where you were less distant. Where did you go?

Halfway during our chat, you disappeared, like you always do.

I wish I still know you.

I hate having to think about titles.

I haven't clubbed in a long long time, and now I feel like doing it every week. Hahaha...

It's my first time at Club Momo, though I've walked past it several times and never went in cos either the crowd was HUGE or my friends refused to step in. Despite less than favourable reviews about the club, I enjoyed myself pretty much! Think might go there again the following week, IF I can afford it. My Indian friends are really HOT dancers, they can dance as if they do nothing but dance! They never seemed to need any time-out from dancing. Had a great time though, but during the night I was pretty pissed with guys who just brushed past and SMACKED my fat butt. I got pinched too, dammit.

Still it was a great night, and I still have to say my Indian friends are super HOT.

-----

On another note, I had a chat with the ex just a couple of days back online. What struck me weird was that when I was chatting with him, I just didn't feel the way I felt in a couple of posts back. Maybe I just miss the feeling of having someone to ... er.... love? But the conversation, albeit just a normal one, made me realise I don't love him the way I did anymore. Well, at least now I know that the once-in-a-while-but-recently-quite-often feelings didn't mean much.

That said, I still miss being part of a couple. It's great to have some intense relationship, where you fall crazily in love and forget about the rest of the world, do crazy things and not bother about what others say; throw caution to the wind and immerse yourself in love.... but the process where you have to get to know someone all over again, to understand that person well, it's pretty tiring.

I ever contemplated having a "part-time" boyfriend, but was worried that I might develop real feelings for the guy. Then again, it's good to have someone around. I kinda miss the physical part of being a couple: the caressing, the kisses, the hugs, etc.

MK said I'm turning guys off with my aloof look. But I don't have any aloof look! Damn it then, I'm doomed to stay single forever. Whatever.


::jenn:: legs are crumbling... says:
later i fall in love how?
CoMpLiCaTed © weird weird one.. says:
u wun
CoMpLiCaTed © weird weird one.. says:
cos u dun even allow urself to
::jenn:: legs are crumbling... says:
i dont allow cos i'm afraid i will.
::jenn:: legs are crumbling... says:
hahaha
CoMpLiCaTed © weird weird one.. says:
its forbidden garden for u all over again

Gigi said forbidden garden. Hahaha, I like that.

Tired. Fatigue seeps into my...pores.

Everyday, I wonder what I did in the day which makes me feel lethargic, and drained at the end of the day.

I am tired. Really tired.

I am tired of having to smile when I don't feel like it. I am tired of having to try and be happy when I know deep down inside I am not. I am tired of having to psych myself into detaching my emotions every single morning when I wake up. Yet I am tired of having to hold all this baggage when I know I should have let it go long ago.

I don't know how to let it go, because I don't know how to cry. I don't know how to let it go, because I just don't know how to.

MK and LN came over today and we had a chat over food and wine. I got a little intoxicated, and kinda said more than I should have. But it was good. The wine was great. I wish I could be able to drink like this, without restrictions, without worries.

I hate having to put on that mask in the morning, try to act all bubbly and lively when I am not. I wonder if people can tell through my façade, if they could see through me.

A message sent to him received no reply on MSN. Yet his nick changes, a sure sign that he is at the computer. Why did I do that then? I have no idea.

Might be the wine. Must be the wine.

So far... So good...

Charcoal has upgraded his status to the master. He doesn't respond to his name now, except when we call him "Mr Tan", or "Mr Charcoal". Apparently, he's feeling all royalty. While I was bathing him just now, he was busy shaking himself dry and getting water all over me. I guess it's my punishment for not bringing him out today because the weather was not that great.

Training started on Wednesday, and it's been swell so far. My batchmates are a really cool bunch of guys and gals, so I'm looking forward to fun, fun and more fun! Well, at least apart from the studying and exams I'll be expecting too. Sadly, I've been "made fun" of my glutton-ness (is there such a word?) gluttony as I always think of food as someone else is speaking. That's me, no less.

To boot, I've finished 2 tubs of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. And a weight check on Monday. How. Nice.

I was chatting with JJ online as I was gorging myself with the ice cream, and we touched on the topic of relationships. I guess somehow, I would still want to be loved, and to love, someday, but not right now. That part of me had been shut off since a couple of months ago, and I don't think I'm willing to open it up again.

Thing is, by closing that part, I felt as if I were... emotionless. Void of feelings, I am. I could detach myself from all emotions, all thoughts, all feelings, and that made me feel so... cold. I have no idea whether I am happy but I can laugh and joke as if I were. I have no idea whether I am angry, but I can still smile as if I weren't.

I wish I were myself again, the once-emotional me that I was. At least I felt human.

Now....

I don't even know who I am. Or, if I actually want to know.


Where have the happier times gone to?

Edit: Sam told me it's gluttony, not glutton-ness. Dumb me. I forgot. heh heh.

A new chapter awaits...

This morning I went for my last français class. Au revoir mes amis, jusqu'à ce que nous nous revoyions! I know I'm going to miss them somehow, no quirky French teacher to poke fun at me, the 2 friends I've known, and the Nutella breadstick that I always try to avoid eating but fail... And hoping my French won't go down the drain. I'm going to miss Pascal, he's the cutest and most humourous teacher I've ever had. Sigh. Where to find another teacher like him?

Met up with Regina last evening for dinner at Marina Square. We sat at Swenson's for quite a while after dinner and wondered if we should eat ice-cream. It was a good thing we didn't... we found Ben & Jerry's at Suntec! I was ecstatic and hysterical and almost bought the whole shop for my sinful indulgence... Oh, you should try this flavor... Dublin-something. Can't remember the whole name though. A glutton doesn't remember the names of food; a gourmet does. So there goes my diet down the drain once again.

Tomorrow marks the start of a new chapter in my life and i really don't know how i should feel about it. Friends have been asking if I'm excited about the training, but all I feel is uncertainty. Just hoping that everything turns out alright.

À bientôt!

My last day in Alliance Française de Singapour

Goodbye to food, glorious food....

I sold my freedom on Thursday.

Aunt and I went down to STC in the afternoon to sign the contract, and I saw a few batchmates, I think. Apparently there would be guys, so hopefully the class is more lively. So there goes my freedom. It's almost like our guys serving NS, I mused to a friend recently. The 4-month training is likened to the men's 3-month BMT (basic military training), the graduation equivalent to their POP (Passing out parade), my 6-month probation is, perhaps, their stint with OCS, SISPEC, or wherever, and probation ends with a commissioning parade!!

Yes, I'm too freaked out by the bond.

The uniform is another scary thought. I went down on Friday morning with Mum for my uniform fitting, and... I almost died in the shop. Firstly, my waist was 25.5 inches. I never had that kind of waist before, I always measured it as 27 inches and though usually I would be happy at that loss of inches around my flabby waist, yesterday was exceptional. The uniform had to be like a second skin, and during the fitting I had difficulty breathing. I think I was complaining too much about the lack of air until the seamstress agreed to add on 1 inch to the measurement around my chest area.

Goodbye lovely food. Goodbye.

Joey held her wedding dinner last night, after being married for about 2 years already. I was given the honour of helping her at the reception with the seating arrangements for Kenneth's family and guests. The other 2 ladies who did the reception arrangements with me were dressed in black too. She looked absolutely gorgeous last night, and because Kenneth is from the Air Force, he had his brothers in uniform to grace the event. Food was good, better than a lot of other places that I've been to, and the whole event was pretty heartwarming.

Oh, and because I had to rush from the uniform place to my hairstylist's place, then to the hotel, I changed in the car while I was driving, because I was late and freaking stuck in a jam.

Talented huh.

I did my makeup too.

I'm babbling away. I need to get clothes for my training, and some shoes. Sigh.

It's a lot of expenditure before I even start the job proper.

Argh.

I just want to get it over and done with.


Looking lethargic after reaching home.

It's funny how...

Funny how yesterday I allowed myself to think about him after a long while, while clearing up stuffs in my computer.

Funny how I was talking to Gigi about him, and what happened in the past.

Funny how on my way home, after the sinful indulgence, I suddenly had this thought that he would contact me.

Funny how he really did contact me after our last contact 2 months back.

Funny how I felt weird upon reading his sms-es.

Funny how our conversation was conducted over sms-es.

Funny how I still want to care for him despite all that has happened.

Funny how I want to hope that he still loves me.

Funny how I know that he doesn't anymore now that he has someone new.

Funny how he confided a little in me about his problems.

Funny how I thought about the past while chatting with him over sms.

Funny how I was reminded by the hurt he inflicted on me.

Funny how I went to bed with thoughts in my mind.

Funny how I know that he wouldn't remember ever chatting with me.

Funny how I still have a soft spot for him.

Funny how I know I shouldn't.

Reasons why my diets always fail #2

I love chocolates.

----------

Met up with Amy and Huiling for a chocolate buffet at The Fullerton. I had to hold myself back from the buffet table, the fondue fountain.

Damn it.

Chocolates are sinful. I ONLY had one slice of rich chocolate tart, and a slice of chocolate cake, and one cheesecake and one tiny scoop of bread pudding. I could have eaten more, if not for the fact that I need to watch my weight.

Damn.

The girls and I gossiped about work, ex-colleagues and our 'plans' for the near-future. I couldn't see what goes beyond 2 years, and somehow I don't intend to think too much abt the future now.

Am I excited about the new change in my life? I have no idea. At all.

Damn.

Chocolates give me a high, and now I can't get to sleep.

I shall diet tomorrow. At least I will try to.

Random ramblings...

I've finally gotten my contract from SIA. From Thursday onwards, my freedom will be sold to SIA for 2 years. The road from now on seems a little fuzzy, and unclear.

Since young, I've never thought I would be an air stewardess, because I was fat as a child, and I had other plans.

Perhaps now, that I'm feeling a little more jaded than I should at my age, my thoughts have changed. I've always wanted to be a career woman, to work really hard and climb the ladder, then I realised, life is just too short. Call me lazy but it really seems hard to be able to work up the ladder and then provide my family with a comfortable life.

And perhaps, it's also got to do with the fact that I'm single now, my priorities have changed. I preferred a ground job as it would allow me to be able to get married earlier, start my family earlier but ever since things happened, getting married is not my priority anymore.

Then comes all the stories about bombings, natural disasters, and I realised life is just that short. I don't want to slog all my life and then realise I don't have time to savour the fruits that I reaped. I might as well enjoy the present, provide for my family now as much as possible, and then live life a day as it comes.

I still don't know what I feel towards this job, given it being stereotyped as a brainless career, but mum and grandma seemed very happy that I got it, so I guess I should be happy. No doubt the money's good, plus I get to travel, but I really don't know what it would bring me in terms of satisfaction.

*edit: I forgot to add that Gigi is very happy for me too, so I should be happy as well.
-------------

To "celebrate" my new life, I decided to clear out some documents in my computer. I finally opened the folder which I had put off looking at after so long. I read the letters and chat logs we sent to each other once, before we were together, during the time we were together, and after. I had to fight back the emotions, the anger, the sadness, the tears, but it wasn't that difficult after all.

I pondered as I hovered the mouse over the Recycle bin on my desktop. For a while, I wondered if I would regret deleting the memories from my computer. I paused, I hesitated. Then I cleared the bin. Memories will be kept in my heart and mind. Maybe one day I will forget abt them, maybe one day I will replay everything in my mind. But for right now, I don't want to think about it.

It was good while it lasted, at least I loved him in the best way I could have.

-------------

I found this poem while I was clearing through the trash on my computer.
Pretty sums up what I am feeling now I guess.

"You were always so perfect to me,
so soft and gentle,
cherishing you instantly,
without a second glance,
I never distrusted those eyes,
that lied to me continuously,
I promised you I'd always try,
but slowly you were losing me.

I would always have given you anything,
just to keep your interest,
stopping my heart from remembering,
all the pain you caused,
I never pulled away from that kiss,
that held a painful hint of truth,
Maybe you'd be too hard to miss,
so I said I was still in love with you.

I wanted more than just the infatuation,
that you found in me.
You said love was only a distraction,
that you really didn't need,
so I cried myself to sleep,
knowing the times we shared must end.
You couldn't let emotion run deep,
you said you made love to me, as a friend.

But eventually, my love,
friendships fade, too,
and I can't make love and walk away,
pretending I don't love you.
Never once did I push you away,
but everything comes to end,
so all that's left to say,
is goodbye,

I loved loving you, my friend."
- Amber White

-------------

Maybe Charcoal is actually a skunk in disguise. His farts are totally potent, and can kill ants from afar.



Told you he's a skunk in disguise.

mantra.... mantra...

I shall not eat... I shall not eat... I shall not eat...

Mum is cooking in the kitchen NOW, and I'm feeling absolutely greedy for food.

No no no no no. For the past 2 weeks, I have put on 3 kgs. So it's time to lose weight. No more bread *sob sob* No more pasta *more sobs*. I am a carbo-lover, and to not be able to eat carbo, it's HELL!!!

Argh! But I will be starting work in an industry where brawns matter more. It's time to look after my looks (wahahaha) before I look out of shape.

I'm still waiting for that mail.

Damn.

-------

Damn, I am such a glutton. I eat and eat and eat and my mum has been nagging at me to stop eating that much.

Must be the pre-menstrual cravings.

ARGH!

Dinner with the guys..

Been a long time since I met up with the guys. So Yan, QQ, Ah Fat, Sam and I decided to meet up at the newly revamped Marina Square this evening for dinner. Oh mon Dieu, the whole place was soooooooo huge I almost got lost.

Then it was a 15-minute search for a free table at the foodcourt. Although there are so many food outlets there, all of them were fully packed. We learnt about larvae growing in pails, courtesy of Yan and QQ. We talked about what I might be expecting in the upcoming months to come, about why I had to watch my weight, about what their plans are...

And we fed cats.

There are always a lot of cats around Ritz, and I remember feeding one family of cats about 3 years back with my subway sandwich. With Giant supermarket just nearby, QQ and I went to grab a tin of cat food and fed it to the cats. Yeah, I doubt we should be doing that, but the cats were really quite pitiful, walking around looking for food.

Ah well, I'm now in the waiting phase again. Now the mailbox. Though the answer and my decision is pretty confirmed, I am still pretty skeptical about what might happen before I sign the confirmation.

Of dogs...

Been pretty busy the past few days with projects, projects and more projects.

Jann and Shu'e went Bangkok on Thursday, and came back just today, and Jann decided to leave Joy Joy with us as there was no one to take care of her. Charcoal didn't take too well to Joy's presence... there were fights every 5 minutes. They would take turns to disturb each other, and they get jealous of each other if I carry either.

But slowly, I guess friendship blossomed between these 2 furkids, and they were able to be in a place without any confrontation. I found it pretty amusing to see them sleeping next to each other, their paws trying to push each other away for more space on the bed. And yes, poor me, I have to snuggle into a corner because they took over my bed.

And then, today Joy just left for home.

Mum cried (surprise, surprise!!!) when Joy had to go.
I felt sad when Joy had to go.
Charcoal was chewing on his new toy when Joy had to go.

The 2 lovely ladies bought yummy snacks and tons of stuffs for Charcoal!! THANKS BABES!!! :)

And now I miss Joy. I miss the sound of her loud loud bell running through the living room.

Sigh.

Perhaps I should get Charcoal a collar with a larger bell.

Finally...

Finally the long awaited call has arrived.

Now, some explaining to do.

Update again...

Waiting... and waiting.

I wish it will be over and done soon.

Tired of waiting and waiting and waiting.

A horrible sight to remember...

Sunday is the day that Charcoal gets to go to the West Coast Dog Run near my home. He knows it, and usually he would be extremely hyper about it. He would run from the door to my bedroom, take a peek at what I'm doing, then run back to the door to wait for me, and if I don't hurry up, he would run back to my room to rush me.

But today, Jann and I witnessed a very upsetting event at the Dog run. Charcoal was happily running about when suddenly a woman screamed. I quickly looked for Charcoal, and saw a husky with a poodle in his mouth. And, Charcoal was running towards the duo. I ran and grabbed him, then I saw the husky vigorously shaking the poodle with his mouth. The male owner of the poodle quickly tried to chase the husky away with a badminton racket, and I stood rooted to the spot, just meters away from what was happening. I wanted to help stop the fight, but I saw blood dripping down from the poodle. The husky shook the poodle like a rag doll, and finally let go.

The poodle lay limp on the ground, and then I realised it was dead. I cried, but silently. The owner of the husky, a female, stood with her dog a distance away. The female owner was pretty upset, crying and screaming away, whereas her two children were peering over their dad's shoulders, asking if the dog was dead. Male owner seemed pretty calm about it though. They left shortly after, with the dog limp in their hands.

Jann and I couldn't hold back the tears, and we left too, cos we had no mood to stay on, worried for the safety of our dogs.

I don't know what to think of the whole incident. I feel very upset, because as a dog owner myself, I know it will be very devastating to lose a dog... To me, Charcoal is not only my pet, but a part of my family. I've watched and read so much about dogs, and I knew to stop a fight, I should hold on to the dog's collar and hit it right in the middle of its eyes. But I didn't. I just stood deadrooted. What if it were Charcoal? What would I have done?

I feel that dog owners should be more responsible, and take care of their own dogs. At the dog run, we let our dogs run freely, but that doesn't mean we should let them out of our sight. We must protect our pets from others, and vice versa. The owner of the poodle didn't react fast enough, but I guess he didn't expect it to happen. The owner of the husky didn't appear till much later, but I guess too, she didn't expect it to happen. But when things happen, where were they?

I'm babbling, because I'm just so affected by this whole episode and can't stop tearing whenever I think about the poor dog.

I wished I had done more.

I wished I had punched that husky to stop the fight.

I wished I hadn't been so selfish to protect just Charcoal alone.

just... wondering.

Am I one step closer to a dream or one step further from a career?

Why my diet plans always fail...

I love KFC.

Of diets and detoxing...

Mum: Girl ah, what do you want to eat for dinner tonight ah?
Me: (eating chocolates) Ah.... I don't know leh. Don't really feel like eating tonight.
Mum: Why? You are going out?
Me: (starts to open a packet of potato chips) Not going out, feeling lazy. I'm actually trying to detox, and am on a diet.
Mum: With chocolates and potato chips?!
Me: Chocolates make me happy when I'm depressed about not able to eat anything else. Potato chips give me the energy now that I don't eat much meat.

Now you see why I never lose weight.

Of exam results and farting.

A friend sent me an sms saying that results are out on the website... I choked on my Milo... crossed my toes, fingers, eyes and prayed that I passed the exams.

As you all can see, I tend to be very lazy relaxed during the exams, because exam time is the best time to recuperate from lack of sleep and rest... and therefore I go into the exam hall with whatever is left in my head. And, I don't stay in the exam hall for too long. No point checking your answers over and over again, if you're wrong, you're wrong.

So before I logged in to the system, I told myself If I pass my subjects for last term, I promise to work hard for this term. I will work very very hard. Just let me pass. and a sense of deja vu washed over me.

And... and... I realised I say this to myself every term, whenever I am checking results.

BUT! I passed!!! WOOOO HOOOOO!!! So I shall try to work hard this semester, anyway it's my final lap.

------

I wonder why dogs fart. I wonder why Charcoal farts A LOT. Especially in his sleep.

And especially when he's next to me sleeping while I am doing work.

EXTREMELY potent.

Must be the apples I fed him.

-----

Ok! I shouldn't be blogging too much right now. Just came back from a project meeting, and so since I promised myself to work hard this semester, I shall start on my project soon now.

Before I start slacking again. Which I foresee to be quite soon.

I wonder...

I wondered why, then, when you always made me cry
I held on to our love steadfastly.
I wonder why, now, when you're no longer here
I still hold on to that love selfishly.

I wondered why, then, when you lied to me time and time again
I believed you and grasped tightly that trust.
I wonder why, now, even when you're not here
I have that bit of trust still.

I wondered why, then, when we were upset with each other
I held on to that hope of our future.
I wonder why, now, even when you have someone new
I am holding on to that hope still.

I wondered why, then, when you broke my heart
I loved you all the same.

But I wonder why, now, even when you no longer love me
I love you still.

Of friends... and work....

The other day, I popped by SPH to visit old colleagues. The warmth of that big family at the counter reigns still, though a few friends were not there.

That got me thinking about how important environment is when it comes to work.

I like the feeling of belongingness, the feeling when in the morning, you feel like you're going to meet a family at work. The feeling of knowing that there are people supporting you if you should fall, of knowing that there are people who will share your sorrows.

I miss the times we spent hours chatting in the discussion room, over our S55 and emails, the after-work chat across the counters.

Even though there are times when I felt unhappy about the working attitudes of some other colleagues, I still enjoyed my stay there.

It was this feeling of belongingness which made me feel very much reluctant to leave the big family.
And the lack of this same feeling in the next job which made me leave after one month's stint.
Now that I'm doing freelance, that feeling is replaced by my time spent with my family.

But now I look back, the friendships made... seemed to have weakened over time. We don't seem to be in very much contact with one another, just the occasional chats over MSN, the once-in-a-while SMS-es, and I do miss them a lot.

And a few times some suggested meeting up, I was unable to make it due to classes, or I had to meet my clients at the last minute.

I wonder why I didn't make the first move to keep contact. Was I afraid of rejection? Was I waiting for them to make the first move instead?

Perhaps I should give them a call.

Bloopers bloopers

Qian just told me about this...

I shouldn't be writing it down... but I just can't help it.

Go Google, type Failure in the search field, and click on I'm Feeling Lucky.

My guess is most of you already know of this, but... heh heh.

Comme d'habitude ...

A French song I recently heard... somehow... it describes what I feel, at times.

Excerpt:
Comme d'habitude
Et puis le jour s'en ira
Moi je reviendrai comme d'habitude
Toi, tu seras sortie
Pas encore rentrée comme d'habitude
Tout seul j'irai me coucher
Dans ce grand lit froid comme d'habitude
Mes larmes, je les cacherai
Comme d'habitude

Comme d'habitude, même la nuit
Je vais jouer à faire semblant
Comme d'habitude tu rentreras
Comme d'habitude je t'attendrai
Comme d'habitude tu me souriras
Comme d'habitude

Translation:
As Usual
And then, the day will go on
Me, I will return, as usual
You, You will leave
But yet return, as usual
I will always sleep alone
In this big cold bed, as usual
My tears, I will hide them
As usual

As usual, even at night
I will pretend
As usual, you will return
As usual, I will wait for you
As usual, you will smile at me
As usual.

As usual, I will wait...

She sits by the window

She sits by the window
Wind in her hair
She thinks of the past
And silently she weeps

She looks out the window
Sun in her eyes
Tears glistening as they fall
Oh! Sorrowful is her life

I am very much alive

Yes yes, I know I've been away for pretty long... but was down with a bad bout of flu last week and am still recovering. Sadly, I haven't lost any weight despite not having the appetite to eat. Porridge and water do no good to diets. At least for me. Damn.

Been busy eating, catching back my appetite, sleeping, lazing around.

Yes, I am turning very much into a couch potato.

Nothing interesting comes into my mind now, just some updates at the moment. Tomorrow ok? :P

-----

I have started picking up salsa, and I thank my lucky stars and moons that I can still remember the steps. Otherwise I would be stepping on my classmates' feet.

Dancing is therapeutic. At least for that few hours that I'm dancing, I forget about what is wrong in my life.

Sometimes I wish I could just forget about earning money and dance or sing my whole life away. But I doubt it's possible.

-----

French lessons are going on great, and I am now thinking about going over to Paris for a couple of months to study the language and pick up some guys.

Speaking about it, I gotta rush off to complete my French assignment.

Au revoir!

Fuck the title (inspiration from Gigi)

I am the one who fucking is down with flu and now gastric and can't fucking understand why I am in so much agony.

'nuff said.

I am still... alive.

Pardon my disappearance..

Been down, and still am down, with a bout of bad bad flu.

Feeling rather lousy and lazy and soft and jelly at the moment.

But still managed to drag myself out yesterday for a photoshoot, then to meet some friends.

And pulled myself out for a business meeting this afternoon, before heading to class in the evening.

I must have looked so pathetic, my client actually offered flu pills after listening to me sniff and cough for about one hour.

Now here I am, still down with flu, feeling as sleepy as ever.

Time for bed.

Exams are over!

Finally, the exams are over and done with.

Cool, I managed to finish a 3-hour paper in 1.5 hours, and am down with flu.

Don't ask why, but I always fall sick during exams.

Must be, because, I hate exams. You know when little children have stomachaches before exams due to stress or something? I have flu and fever every 3 months. Yeah. But I'm not stressed enough to want to study for the exams.

So now that I'm done with exams...what should I do? Maybe pinch Charcoal's tail. Heee... or perhaps not, later he will fart in my face again.

By now you should realise that... I am very bored after the exams. I can't do anything much, because, I'm ill and I don't feel like doing anything. I've been home for a while, but I could not get to sleep.

Had a weird dream last night, about him.

Had a weird thought just now, about work.

Have a freaking headache now.

Someone asked me about the lack of pictures on my blog. I'm lazy to upload them.

Someone asked me about the lack of men in my life. But...,I whimper, majority of the friends I have are males!

Exams are over, and I can get to enjoy some rest before the new term starts.... this Thursday. (What holidays huh!!)

And as a tradition that I hold at the start of every term...Resolution building!

I shall be more hardworking next term.

Yes. I will try to be.

Update from NUS

Time now is 5.39pm.

Yan is chatting, Sam is eating, and I am playing games online.

Productive, I say. Productive. Studying is good. Exams are good.

All about sex.

GOTCHA!!

I just couldn't think of any title for this entry.

Tomorrow's my last exam for this term, and I'm feeling lazy about studying. OK. So I feel lazy before, during and after exam period. But the thought of having 85 MCQ and just 2 short answer questions is kinda making me feel that the paper will not be that tough after all! I mean, how wrong can you go with MCQs? It's just an answer out of 5 choices.

Er.. I think I better not be too complacent.

-----

My phone rang at 3am. I jumped up from sleep, and wandered to the phone. The number looked familiar. It was him. Again, in his drunken state. Or so he claimed. I didn't know what to say to him, he said he didn't know why he called, and he knew he shouldn't...

He told me he drank a bottle of Chivas.

I asked him where his other half and friends were.

He said he didn't know.

I didn't know what else to say then, and till now, I still don't know how I feel towards him. Should I hate him? Should I love him still? Should I still remember him? Should I forget him? Should he still remain a friend? Should I erase him from my list of friends?

I doubt he'd ever remember making that call after he's sober.

I still don't know how I feel.

-----

I am now at NUS, and for the past 1 hour that I have been here, I ... er... haven't started studying. I was busy oogling clearing folders, and emails and now, blogging.

BAH.

Exam time is the only time I sleep the most.

I love exams.

j'etudie pour mes examens d'universite

(I'm studying for my university exams)

I hate studying, especially when it's the last lap to getting the degree, and I now have absolutely no interest in wanting to study.

Tomorrow's my French test, Saturday's my International Marketing exam, then Monday my Advanced E-commerce.

Till now, I have no freaking idea why I wanted to hop on this paper chase. Waste of my time and money. Perhaps a degree can really get me far, but I still believe in experience and brains.

Argh.

I'm just whining for the sake of whining.

One good thing out of this whole thing... Our painstakingly compiled International Marketing project earned us a distinction, and I believed my ground did the best out of the whole class (which doesn't make up a lot of students... but still...) I'm so proud of our work!

But Advanced e-commerce ... I'm surprised the tutor gave me quite high marks for class participation. Perhaps all that yakking in class has done some good.

Alrighty. Gotta go mug for exams. again. ARGH.

Bar @ Buena Vista

Firstly, before I start blogging, about the modelling thing... I am not the typical model, tall and slim. I'm modelling my BUTT only. Cos it's BIG. hahahahaha...

Been pretty busy with the projects, and FINALLY, I've submitted the final assignment for this module. Hope I won't flunk *keeping fingers, toes, nipples crossed.*

By the way, I just found out that he disappeared. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!? WHERE DID YOU GO TO!? Just because I forced you to date me doesn't mean you have to run away like that!

Last night, I went out with Qian, a spunky young lady I got to know through an interview a couple of months back. We went to watch the show Bar @ Buena Vista and it was GREAT! Not to mention her company. Makes me want to do salsa more...

She's leaving Singapore for working opportunities abroad... for a while... and I'm so glad for her. =) Hope everything will go well, and she will get to realise her dream. Really enjoyed your company, babe!

Okie, I'm off to bed, haven't been sleeping for a couple of days. Laters!

-_-"

I am now at the airport, waiting to see a friend off, came early because I want to gawk at handsome pilots study and have a peaceful dinner. Feel young eh! So many little students are here studying. I am young again!

The modelling agency I am working on a freelance basis called me.

J: "Jennifer, we need you for an assignment. Would you be free to come down for the audition on xxxday? Around 5pm?"
Me: "Ah, shouldn't be a problem. I'm reporting to you or to Vonne?"
J: "Can find me lah, no problem one. But... er... you... lost... erm, toned up yet?"
Me (I knew this was coming): "Ah... I think so lah. But hor, not sure also. C'est pas probleme, oui? (it's not a problem right?)"
J: "Not really lah, but just come down ok, and I'm looking for a Singaporean model, not French. Try to lose more weight lah. Butterfly arms not in vogue yet. haha!!!"

...........

Evil J.

He reads my blog though. I hope he falls down the stairs. No more chocolates for him.

Speaking of chocolates, I bought some Willy Wonka chocolates! I'm going to win the Golden Ticket! YIPPIE!!!

On another note, I flunked my first assignment for this module I'm currently taking. Sigh. Feeling rather... upset about it. But my fault for not putting in more effort lah.

Mugging time.

c.o.m.p.l.a.i.n.

Gigi said she's never seen me complain before.

My dear, you're gonna ever regret saying this sentence.

Actually I have a lot of things to complain about. In fact, I wake up every morning and make a list of things that I have to complain about before the day is over.

I wanna comprain about the gahmen, cannot, cos later gahmen send police come catch me. So one less thing to complain.

I wanna comprain about my friends, cannot, cos later friend link friend all link to me and they find out. So one less thing to complain.

I wanna comprain about mad drivers on the road, but cannot, cos sometimes I also drive like mad. So one less thing to complain.

I wanna comprain about my dog, but cannot, cos later Charcoal will find out and he will torture me by farting in my face (again) when I am sleeping. So one less thing to complain.

I wanna comprain about boyfriend, but cannot, cos I have no boyfriends in the first place to start with. Haha! So one less chunk to complain.

I wanna comprain about men, but cannot, cos there are just too many things about them to comprain about, and I have too many male friends, so later I kena. So, one more less thing to complain about.

I wanna comprain about my stupid projects and how I hate them so, but cannot, cos by the time I finish complaining, I would have no time to do my projects, then I got to complain about how unfair the system is, not letting us have enough time to do the darn project, and then it will drag the results for my projects, and then I will not be able to take my exams, and then I will waste a freaking $3000 on this term just because I complained about my projects. So... one two three a few less things to complain.

Then I look through my list and realise that there are no more things to complain about.

So how?

I think I shall comprain about Gigi. Say what never hear me complain, then I had to show her I actually complain, and now I wasted time doing this blog entry instead of doing my darned project which is so freaking boring and a waste of time.

BAH.

Haunting thoughts...

I had nightmares last night, dreams which came to haunt me all over again.

----------

This morning, when my handphone beeped, his face popped into my mind. I had a feeling that it would be him, but then I thought, nah, can't be. He'd never sms me ever. And when I saw his number, I froze.

He apologised for not being able to have the chance to speak to me last evening.

It's rather... cordial. I didn't know what to reply, but I still did.

Yes, familiar strangers we are. Simple acquaintances.

je suis fatigue. Tres fatigue.

I saw him once...then he was gone.

I went out with some of our mutual friends today, never expecting him to turn up, for he always doesn't appear for gatherings. Today, was an exception. And when I heard he would be coming, I felt... weird.

When I saw him, I didn't know what to do, what to say, what to think, and so I did nothing.

He made no effort to want to speak to me too.

When he left, I couldn't even bring myself to look at him to say goodbye. Cos I felt that he wouldn't bother.

I don't know how I felt then, it was a mix of all emotions. But I felt the pain when he left me then, when he came back into my life briefly, when I had to deal with what I went through alone. Unpleasant memories which I tried hard to push to the back of my mind came hitting at me as if it happened just yesterday.

Funny how, from being close lovers, we've now drifted to being just... strangers on the road.

Yet the same question is always etched in my mind. Will he ever remember the times we had?

I guess it will always remain unanswered.

You know...

... one day I'm going to die with my eyes dried and out of their sockets, while sitting in front of the darned computer.

It is already 3 am and...

Ma mere dort, mon chien dort, et mon frère n'est pas à la maison.
(My mother is sleeping, my dog is sleeping, and my brother is not home.)

I just burnt some lavendar oil and I guess I will be dozing off pretty soon.

Been thinking, and asking my lecturers from poly if I should consider taking up a degree from Le Cordon Bleu, to get my Master of Arts in Gastronomy.

I love food & wine alot, and have strong interest in that field. I don't wish to take too long to start on a career, and I think I've done enough spending on studies.

But yet, I wish to do all the studying I want before my desire to learn burns out.

It seems a lot feasible to work for a couple of years, before I take on the Masters degree. I can choose to do the degree online, but the on-campus experience would be a lot more beneficial for my future prospects.

Confused, confused, confused.

By the time I finish my degree, which would take another 1.5 years, I would be nearing 26, with no experience, or rather, outdated experience in my resume. I would be far, far, far behind my peers.

Do I have to give this up, just like how I gave up pursuing my love for music?

The calming effects of the lavendar has kicked in. Time for bed, finally.

J'aime Français

French lessons are going great! I know how to ask a French guy for his télephone numéro, and can take down his number with ease. Soon, I will be able to propose, and also ask if he’s rich.

I. am. joking.

Pascal (moi Français professeur) said something which tickled some of us pretty much today. “Some French don’t even know basic Singlish!” he wailed.

So, being the-bored-me-with-tons-of-projects-but-no-mood-to-do-them, here goes:

Welcome to Singlish 101

In Basic Singlish, you will learn in a duration of 1 hour:

• Introduction to the signature word lah


• The four tones of lahs, and what lah in each tone means.


• How to use the word lah effectively, as an affirmative statement, and as an expression.


• Affirmative: “He’s there, lah...” (2nd tone, drag)


• Expression: “What! lah” (4th tone)


• How to punctuate your sentences with lah (maximum 3 in a sentence)


• “Ok lah, I will tell him lah, you don’t need to worry lah.”


• When to use the word lah

Intermediate Singlish (2 hours) will bring you through to the culture and history of Singlish.

• Introduction to culture and history of Singlish


• Introduction to words leh, lor, hu, kiasu, shiok boh, kiasee.


• Singlish Grammar


• How to pronounce sh-, ch-, th- as s, c, t respectively

Advanced Singlish (3 hours) will teach you conversational Singlish, where there will be a student internship at the kopitiam*

• Planned excursions to kopitiams in the vicinity


• Final exam: A successful conversation of 30 minutes with the customers at the selected kopitiam

*kopitiam: Coffeehouse

Oui, so there you have it.

I am kinda smart, no?

Congratulations, Jennifer!
Your IQ score is 129

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

*ahem*, wanted to put up the link for you to test out your IQ here, but, heh, I...er..forgot the site address, and I'm lazy to go search.

Just live with the fact that I'm brainy.

I'm pretty baffled.

Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans pretty badly, yet the local media coverage on the situation is kinda just touch-and-go.

I've been watching CNN to catch up with the news, and it is sad that in such dire circumstances, the ugly side of mankind prevails. Accounts of rape, violence, mere senseless killing, these aren't things you would expect in a catastrophe. Yet perhaps, you may argue that Katrina isn't huge enough to be deemed one. The whole city was... gone. Babies and children die of exhaustion, adults kill themselves and one another out of fear and who knows what other reasons.

Perhaps I am ignorant of the rescue operations there, but it seems to me that, compared to the Tsunami incident, the rescue ops are a lot slower. And sadly, no one here in Singapore seems to care a hoot about it.

The people need food and water, amongst many other things. And... a lot more.

If you would like to help the Red Cross or the State of Louisiana in their operations, please visit:

Red Cross Katrina Help Now
The Louisiana Disaster Recovery Foundation

A little amount will go a long, long way.

To follow up with the news, please visit CNN.

The world is our home.

WHY!!

I brought it upon myself.

I just had to surf the net, read blogs, instead of doing my darned project.

Yeah yeah yeah, I saw my name on his entry, and thought, can't be that suay lah, and when my mouse hovered across that name, I saw my url.

BAH.

Se7en things that (will) scare me
1. Horror flicks - read my entries below.
2. Losing people dear to me.
3. Losing Charcoal.
4. Insects which fly.
5. Losing my memory.
6. Faintly lit hotel corridors.
7. No money for wine drinking. (GASP!)

Se7en things i like the most
1. Chocolates.
2. Cheesecakes/ cheese
3. Wines.
4. Playing the piano.
5. Musicals, literature exhibitions.
6. Reading, reading, reading
7. Good music.

Se7en most important things in my room
1. iBook
2. bed
3. my pc
4. TV
5. magazines
6. wardrobe
7. photographs

Se7en random facts about me
1. I can sing and dance pretty well, only if you're deaf and blind (joking)
2. I love dogs, cats, tiger cubs, lion cubs, etc.
3. I love drinking.
4. I need to exercise.
5. I have run out of random facts about me, cos there are just too many interesting things about me.
6. I am actually very cute.
7. I can make a good girlfriend, wife, daughter-in-law, granddaughter-in-law, sister-in-law...

Se7en things I plan to do before I die
1. Go backpacking in Europe (again), or travel more.
2. Spout French while snogging a French man Know more friends from other nationalities.
3. Work in other countries.
4. Do more volunteer work, in Singapore, or other places.
5. Own a bar.
6. Have a successful and high-flying career.
7. If I don't get a successful career, then get married, have 2 kids, and be a tai-tai

Se7en things I can do
1. Laugh at and make fun of myself.
2. Do a back flip, in slow motion.
3. Do the salsa, latin cha-cha-cha, and waltz. (not pro, but enough to last 5 min)
4. Read upside down.
5. Love with all my heart.
6. Forgive people who've hurt me.
7. multitask.

Se7en things I can't do
1. Forget.
2. stand people who think the world revolves around them.
3. stand liars.
4. drink upside down.
5. splits.
6. wakeboard.
7. hold a cockroach in my hand.

Se7en things I say the most
1. fuck.
2. cool?
3. Alrighty
4. Bah
5. I'm busy now.
6. sian
7. No time no time.

Se7en celeb crushes
1. Brad Pitt
2. George Clooney
3. Ryan Seacrest
4. Utt
5. Robbie Williams
6. Johnny Depp
7. John Travolta

Se7en people I'll love to see doing this
(Sucks when I don't have many people reading)
1. Gigi
2. Qian *heh heh heh*
3. Callandor Be a sport ok..
4. Bui
5. Ben
6. Sharon
7. Raphael

*note to self: I should never be distracted from doing my projects again.*

Brrr...

Sometimes when Charcoal sleeps, he would toss and turn about, and then his front legs will be in a weird pose.

I wonder if he dreams, and what he dreams about.

How I wish I could know.

I could write down my dreams, my thoughts, but Charcoal... the only way we communicate with him would be through his whines, his reactions and actions.

I wonder if he loves us as much as we love him. I wonder if he knows.

I wonder if he complains to the other dogs whenever he meets them at the Dog Run on Sundays.

I wonder if he misses us when we're not around.

I wonder how it's like to be him.

~~~~~~

I read Gigi's post on her accident and it brought back a very scary memory. I was lucky to not have gone through the exact same tormenting experience as her, but it was enough to scare me shitless. (Now I know why I am constantly constipated.)

Couple of years ago, J asked me out for supper, as he was feeling lousy and needed someone to talk to. He came and picked me up in his new Subaru, and we went for a drive.

After supper at Al-Ameen (Bukit Timah), we decided to go on ECP cos I adore the night scene of Raffles Place/ City Hall there. But well, that bugger wasn't in the right mind to really drive. Upset lah, what to do? And I was still learning how to drive then, so I couldn't offer to drive. We got on ECP, and then suddenly he stepped on the accelerator and the whole car jerked forward. I looked at him, and his eyes were affixed on the road. His knuckles turned white from gripping the car steering wheel, and I lost my tongue. I still remember that lurching feeling I had, (how to admire night scene like that huH! Saw nothing but a blur!) and I asked if he were ok in a meek voice. He didn't hear, and went on speeding. I guess I was really freaked out, not by the speed at he was driving, but by the look in his eyes. I grabbed the seat tightly, and closed my eyes, tears threatening to fall.

Then I think he saw my face and suddenly slowed his car. (Now that I think about it, it must be because of the speed camera near the Fort Road exit. Bugger, and I thought he cared about me.) I cried, he cried, and we decided to go home and cry.

That incident made me realise how fragile life is, and how a moment of foolishness can turn into a lifetime of regret. I still like speeding in my car once in a while, but it is always only after the drive that I would feel that it was dangerous, and not during the ride.

Just hope nothing happens to me man. I don't want my friends to eat curry chicken under my block. (Touch wood!)

Ok, enough of nonsense.

Au demain~

Of fear and dreams...

Met up with Angie & Stella today after a long period of... disappearance. Well, kinda.

A lot has had happened since our last meet up, which was... which.. was... er, erm.. during my hospital stay? At least I get to chat with Stella more frequently than with Angie, to catch up on details in our lives.

Today when we met up, we all had something in common: we have ex-boyfriends whom we all know pretty well. *laughs* But one thing they have in common that I don't, is new boyfriends. I'm just not ready. I've too many things I want to do and accomplish before I get involved in a relationship again. It takes a lot of effort, y'know? I'm no longer a student with lots of time and youth. I guess there are more important things in life calling out to me now.

And then when his name was brought up during lunch, I sort of flinched, and felt a little uncomfortable. But, hey, the best way to get over something is to confront it.

Ah well. I'm still never going to watch horror flicks to get over this fear. No way, amigos.

One of my greatest wish when I was young was to pursue my interest in music. I dreamt of being in London, at the Royal Academy of Music. But slowly, I realised that music wouldn't get me far in Singapore, and had to give up. Right now, I would give for anything to be able to pursue this dream again. But the fear of being poor financially kinda puts me off.

That's the problem with us huh, we are more concerned about the practicalities than what would make us happy and satisfied. I wish I had the courage to follow my dream.

Suddenly have the urge to do rock wall climbing. Haven't done that in.. ages. Wonder if the rock wall can hold my weight.

Eh brothers! Night cycling how huh?!

Huh?!

Comment allez-vous? *

Had my first French class today, and Pascal (my French tutor) is a really funny guy. Typical French lah, sarcastic and funny. Miaw said that if I could master French by end of this year, we shall go France and grab French guys. So yeah, motivation.

And I don't understand what's with scaring people. My fault lah, I stupidly switched to Channel 5 and watched Incredible Tails Tales by accident. Now I'm spooked.

Yes, I'm timid. So what huh?!

*: means How are you? in French

Fuck horror movies

The freaking Maid trailer is on Channel 5 now, and it's a freaking long one. At the witching hour?! Crap.

I hate horror movies. I really do.

Will you remember me?

Today as I was walking along the places he and I used to frequent, I couldn't control the memories which flooded my mind, memories which I haven't visited in a long while; memories which I struggled to keep within the depths of my soul, my mind.

I felt horrible. I felt alone in the crowd. And I wondered, briefly, if he would ever think of me.

Yet, I know the answer.

I wondered if he ever remembered me, given his bad memory.

And I guess, not.

I once said this to him, when we were still friends, how it is weird that a person who used to be so so close to you can suddenly be out of your life, from a confidante to a stranger on the streets, from a lover to just an acquaintance. How a couple can end up being familiar strangers... how two people feel distanced even when they are next to each other. Familiar strangers, that's what we are.

Sometimes I wish I could cry, but crying is such a hard thing to do. Yes, at times I do feel very tired of staying happy even when I'm not, but how long can I stay upset? Without me, his world will go on turning...

This song from LeAnn Rimes pretty much says what I am feeling now.

Please Remember

Time, sometimes the time just slips away
And you're left with yesterday
Left with the memories
I, I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time I had you with me
Though we go our seperate ways
I wont forget so don't forget
The memories we made

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
Please remember our time together
The time was yours and mine
While we were wild and free
Please remember, please remember me

Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away
With just the memories
Who's to know what might have been
We'll leave behind a life and time
I'll never know again

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
And remember, please remember me

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
Please remember our time together
The time was yours and mine
While we were wild and free
Then remember, please remember me

And how we laughed and how we smiled
And how this heart was yours and mine
And how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ride so fast we ride so free
I had you and you had me
Please remember, please remember

Will you?

Signs you are super bored at home...

I have started to train Charcoal how to play the piano. He just sits there with a helpless look on his face.

I have started singing songs, from nursery songs to pop, from oldies to retro, in all languages. Hell I should even start training him how to sing Chinese New Year songs so that he can get ang pows during CNY. But training hasn't been really effective so far, he suddenly learnt how to get out of my singing, by covering his ears or pretending to sleep. Yes, pretend. Because, after I stop singing, he will wake up and run away.

I have started to teach him the alphabets. He gets bored and tries to tear up the cards.

I have been teaching him nonsensical things like getting the remote control for me, and switching channels. All, to no avail.

Yes. I am THAT bored despite having lots of work to do.

Bushed.

Just finished unpacking and doing the laundry. Funny thing is, I didn't buy a lot of things from HK/ Shenzhen, but my laundry seems never ending. Sucks.

And my fetish with stationery? Sigh. I was in Sogo at Causeway Bay, and saw they had a sale on Winnie the Pooh products. And... well... erm, I saw lots and lots of letter pads, notebooks, note pads, etc, well, you should know what happened next. My travel partner had to unload my goods for me while I protested.

So I came back with only 6 stationery items. (SUCKS!!!) I am so not happy.

Today I met Stella for lunch and the 2 unemployed ones hung out at One Fullerton for lunch. Sinful, but nice. Then we adjourned to my place where we were duly entertained by Charcoal's antics. See, friends who haven't met me in a long time all suddenly want to meet me, or rather, Charcoal. They all love me.

I'm pretty hooked onto this Soduku game. What you have to do is to put in numbers (1-9) into each square, and make sure the number is not repeated in the same row, column, or 3x3 square. I picked up this puzzle book from HK International Airport, and have been stuck doing the puzzles since. Shucks man. Numbers are in my head now.

Hungry now. Gotta search for food.

I am back!

I am back from Hong Kong... and had the chance to visit Shenzhen also. True to what many say, Shenzhen is a land of beauties. Weather in Hong Kong and Shenzhen was horrid, it was raining and raining and raining and raining. The rain was so heavy some old buildings in certain parts threatened to collapse. Luckily for me, the hotel was sturdy. Thank goodness. I go HK almost every year and this is the first time I encounter such weather.

Shopping wasn't that great, the rain drowned my spirits, but after I returned to Hong Kong from Shenzhen the weather turned for the better. Ate a lot, shopped a little, honestly, I still prefer shopping in Bangkok.

Shenzhen is a land of fakes, and we even got counterfeit money. My goodness, the fake RMB 100 bill felt so real we didn't notice till the shopowner told us.

Now very very tired from unpacking, and I lost my last toenail. Pain. Ouch.

Need sleep. Walked a lot a lot a lot.

Laters friends.

Off to Hong Kong!

Dear darlings

I'm off to Hong Kong, Pearl of the Orient! For shopping, eating, shopping and eating! And also, *sigh* business.

Will be back on either Tuesday, or Wednesday.

Till then, miss me.

Love,

Wildly Tame.

I is ah lian wannabe

Lim-bu is ah lian lah. Lim-bu eh brog talk ah beng language lah. Sibeh hiong boh. Wa si sui sui eh lian.

Jenn the dua lian brog

via Kenny Sia

A pleasant surprise...

I just had someone from my past visit me.

Lawrence is an ex boyfriend who became a very good friend after a while. We were together when I was in secondary 2 (if my memory doesn't fail me) and we parted cos I found out he was two-timing me after 3 weeks being together. Or rather, he didn't part with his then-girlfriend before we got together, and all of this, I didn't know. Well, I wasn't that into him then, cos when I was young, I had boyfriends for the sake of having them. Yes I did have feelings for him, but they weren't deep enough for me to want to cry a river for him. After that he did try to get back together with me, but since he had to go back to Italy with his family, I thought that would never ever work out, so we remained friends. Till today.

He used to be very cute-looking, being an Eurasian (Dad's Italian, Mum's Shanghainese) and now, he looks great! The last time I saw him was during my poly days, when he came here for a short business trip. All the while he's been a very caring friend, whenever I am upset he would send me nice little notes via email, sms, snail mail... very sweet little gestures which made me feel loved.

Then when I was in my last relationship, our friendship faltered a little. Lawrence was busy with work, and I, busy with maintaining my relationship and being in love. Our frequent emails became once-in-a-while kinda stuffs, and I didn't even get to meet him when he came here once.

And when I was very very heartbroken last year, he called from Italy when he heard about it from a common friend and chatted with me till dawn, AND made the effort to visit me even when he was in Singapore for just a short 3 hour transit.

It's almost like we've been in a "long-term" relationship for close to, 8 years? But I guess things wouldn't have worked out if I had chosen to go back to him then. Trust was a big issue, and maintaining a long-distance relationship? Tough work baby.

He came by with my favourite favourite wine, and chocolates! I could fall in love with him there and then, but...

I can't.

And he knows it.

So, sigh. I'm doomed to remain single forever.

Jenn cuielle des pommes...

Bonjour!

It's official, darlings, I am down with flu.

And I don't know who on earth I got it from. The last I spoke to someone down with flu was on Sunday with Neo, but that was over the phone! And well, on Monday I started feeling...flu-ish.

Now my voice sounds nasal. "Harnoou, kahn i speek to Neon?" This is how I talk now.

Going Hong Kong on Friday, and then Shenzhen, but heard over the news last night that China is facing a shortage of petrol. Great. That's what I need. What's gonna happen to shopping?

My French classes will start one week after I come back from my trip, and kinda looking forward to that. Should be fun. I can finally expand my limited French vocabulary from just "Bonjour!" to much much more. Then I can charm the pants off some French hunks.

Ooo Lala!

Willy Wonka... Willy Wonka...

Last evening, I met the girls to watch Charlie & The Chocolate Factory at Jurong Point. Haven't been there in a long long while, and that place hasn't changed much since the last time I was there.

Irene was very very generous to give us 2 free tickets to the show, so last night the 4 of us only paid $3.50 each for 4 tickets! Woo hoO~ But when I was at PS to take the tickets from her, I saw the lifestyle figure of The Maid near the ticket booth. Well, actually I was standing next to it without knowing it, so when I turned around I jumped out of my skin (again!) and ran away. THEY SURE HAVE FUN SCARING PEOPLE!

And since the movie last night, the song about Willy Wonka in the movie has been stuck in my head. "Willy Wonka...WIlly Wonka..." I don't remember the exact lyrics, but the TUNE is in my head. Argh! A friend said that the best way to get rid of a tune in your head is to get another tune to overwrite it. Yeah, like that helps.

The movie was alright, but I pretty enjoyed it cos I loved reading Roald Dahl's works when I was young. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, The BFG... were among the books that I read (yes, used to be a bookworm and pretty much still a bookworm if I can afford the time to read). Er, the part I didn't really like was that the movie was full of singing and dancing... and all the little people (the oompa loompas?) HAD THE SAME FACE! I've never seen Johnny Depp's teeth that much before. Kinda cute. His hairstyle sucks though, I have a similar hairstyle, but very much longer than his.

When I was young and reading the story, I used to imagine being in Wonka's factory and drinking chocolate from the factory. I am a sucker for chocolates, especially thick dark chocolate. The darker it is the more I love it. And after the movie, I had the strong urge to grab all chocolates in sight. Damn. My diet's gonna fail again. Er, actually no, cos I haven't started any dieting.

Okie, I'm off to get a lunch treat from June! Laters~

Buffet List

I am very hungry now. Saw this list on Finicky Feline's blog, and shamelessly asked her for it.

Not sure if the prices are still the same, but so far I think everything looks ok. I can't wait to try the food!

Here goes:

The Fullerton Singapore - Gourmet Buffet Dinner
Where: Town Restaurant (tel: 6877-8128)
When: 6.30-10.30pm, Mondays to Saturdays
Cost: Starts from $28+++
What: Rolled out on April 8, the buffet allows diners to mix and match meals. They can pick from various main courses and help themselves to the Gourmet Appetiser Buffet and Gourmet Dessert Buffet, which cost $20+++ and $15+++ respectively on their own. There is also the Seafood Tower at $28+++ per person or $48+++ for two.
Or
They can opt for the Appetiser and Dessert Buffet ($25+++),Seafood Tower and Dessert Buffet ($65+++ for two) and Seafood Tower with Appetiser and Dessert Buffet ($98+++ for two).

Conrad Centennial Singapore - Big Breakfast Buffet
Where: Oscar’s Cafe & Terrace (tel: 6432-7481)
When: 7am-3pm every Sunday
Cost: $28+++ (adult); $14+++ (child)
What: Launched in March this y ear, it serves everything from muffins to dimsum and seafood fried rice. The highlight is the vitamin corner, which includes a juice bar. From 11am, pay $40+++ to combine the breakfast spread with the carving of the day.

M Hotel Singapore - Sunday High Curry
Where: Cafe 2000 (tel: 6421-6222)
When: Noon-3pm every Sunday
Cost: $28+++ (adult); $14+++ (child)
What: What started off as a pure curry buffet in February this year now includes a Western spread. This includes roast prime ribs and Yorkshire pudding. The fish head curry is highly recommended.

Shangri-La’s Rasa Sentosa Resort - Brunch ‘N’ Plunge
Where: Sharkey’s (tel: 6371-1071)
When: 12.30-3pm
Cost: $39.50+++ (adult); children 12 years and below are charged half price
What: Enjoy a great sea view and free use of pool facilities as you tuck into the buffet introduced in June last year. Barbecue items such as pork ribs and tiger king prawns, and local favourites like fried oyster omelette and kueh, dominate the spread.

Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel - Children’s Buffet
Where: Cafe Brio’s (tel: 6233-1100)
When: Noon-3pm every Sunday
Cost: Free for kids aged 10 and below, accompanied by adults paying for the Sunday Brunch ($50+++ or $65+++ with free flow of champagne, wine and beer)
What: The spread made its debut last year and offers such items as mini hot dogs, burgers and chicken nuggets. There are also activities such as magic shows and balloon sculpting.

Raffles The Plaza - Plaza Market Peranakan Buffet
Where: Plaza Market Cafe (tel: 6431-6156)
When: Noon-2.30pm and 6.30-10.30pm daily; high tea from 12.30-5pm (Sat, Sun & public holiday)
Cost: Lunch costs $25+++ (adult) and $13+++ (child); dinner costs $30+++ and $15+++ respectively; High tea is $23+++ and $12+ ++ respectively
What: The showcase of authentic Peranakan cuisine was introduced last year and the ayam buah keluak and durian pudding have won fans.

The Fullerton Singapore - Chocolate Buffet
Where: The Courtyard (tel: 6877-8129)
When: 8-11pm every Friday and Saturday
Cost: $24+++ (adult); $12+++ (child)
What: Since 2002, chocolate lovers have been indulging in treats such as the chocolate mango yoghurt mousse. The drink station with its premium chocolate-blended drinks is the highlight.

Meritus Negara Singapore - Local Delights Lunch Buffet
Where: Claymore Cafe (tel: 6831-6686)
When: Noon-2.30pm Mondays to Fridays, except public holidays. Brunch is served on weekends from noon-4pm.
Cost: $16.90+++ for weekdays and $19.90+++ for weekend brunch. Children pay $9.90+++ for both.
What: It started off as the Yong Tau Foo Buffet in 1997 but local favourites like laksa were added last month. The duck noodles and prawn mee soup are big draws.

Swissotel Merchant Court Singapore - Buffet Lunch & Dinner
Where: Ellenborough Market Cafe (tel: 6239-1848)
When: Noon-2.30pm, 6.30-10pm daily
Cost: $19.90+++ for lunch and $24.90+++ for dinner on weekdays, $25.90+++ for weekend dinner.
Children pay $11.90+++ for lunch, $13.90+++ for weekday dinner and $14.90+++ for weekend dinner.
What: This spread with a strong nonya component has gained fame since 1997 and the star remains the durian pengat, a yummy mousse. Other must-haves include the slipper lobster in black bean sauce and abalone mushroom noodles.

The Ritz-Carlton Millenia Singapore - Sunday Champagne Brunch
Where: Greenhouse (tel: 6434-5288)
When: 11.30am-3.30pm every Sunday
Cost: $88+++ (adult); $45+++ (child)
What: The extensive spread launched in 1996 includes 25 appetisers, 50 types of farmhouse cheese from France and local, Indian and Western specialities. There are 16 sections in all, including the popular oyster, sashimi and souffle. Wash everything down with Moet & Chandon champagne.

Four Seasons Hotel Singapore - Sunday Brunch At One-Ninety
Where: One-Ninety (tel: 6831-7250)
When: There are two sittings: 11am-1pm and 1.30pm-3pm
Cost: $ 68+++ (adult) and $30+++ (child); Pay $98+++ to add free flow of Veuve Clicquot champagne.
What: This eight-year-old brunch has 20 hot and cold stations offering fresh oysters, sukiyaki, dimsum and pasta. The sinful dessert buffet station carries 25 sweet treats. Kids get their own spread and activities.

Hotel Inter-Continental - Olive Tree Mediterranean Buffet
Where: Olive Tree Mediterranean Restaurant (tel: 6431-1061)
When: 11.30am-2.30pm for lunch (Mon-Fri) and 6.30-10.30pm for dinner (Sun-Thu)
Cost: $39+++ for lunch and $52+++ for dinner. Free for children under seven years. Those aged between 7 and 12 years will be charged according to their age. For instance, a seven-year-old will be charged $7+++ and a 10-year-old will pay $10+++.
What: It has attracted a strong following since 1995. The menu changes daily and offers more than 20 items, including the popular seafood on ice and pasta.

Copthorne King’s Hotel - Penang Buffet
Where: Princess Terrace (tel: 6318-3168)
When: 11.30am-2.30pm (3.30pm on weekends and public holidays) and 6.30-10pm daily
Cost: $28+++ (adult) and $20+++ (child);
What: One of the best-known spreads around, this buffet used to feature 28 items but now offers about 40. These include must-have dishes such as Penang laksa, Penang Hokkien mee soup, and Penang char kway teow.

Grand Hyatt Singapore - The Pete’s Place Salad
Where: Pete’s Place (tel: 6416-7113)
When: 11.30am-2.30pm (Mon-Sat) and 6-10.30pm daily
Cost: $16+++; It costs $19.50+++ if you throw in soup and dessert, and $26+++ with the pasta main courses. Children pay $19.50+++ and get the whole works.
What: Toss your own greens from the fresh selection of 20 main salads, nine toppings and five dressings. If you are going for the pasta, try the signature dish, Cioppino, a tomato-base seafood pasta.

Royal Plaza On Scotts - International Buffet High-Tea
Where: Cafe Vienna (tel: 6589-7799)
When: 3-5.30pm (Mon-Fri); Noon-5pm (weekends, eves and public holidays)
Cost: $18.50+++ (adult) and $9.25+++ (child) for weekdays and $24.50+++(adult)and $12.25+++ (child) for weekends, eves and public holidays
What: Launched in the 1980s, the spread includes more than 80 Asian favourites and Western treats, of which the bread and butter pudding is most famous. It is also one of the few eateries in town that serve halal buffets.

Goodwood Park Hotel - Local High Tea
Where: Coffee Lounge (tel: 6730-1746)
When: 2.45-5pm daily
Cost: $18.80 +++ (adult) and $9.40+++ (child).
What: What started as a Straits Chinese spread now comprises more than 20 items, including dimsum and local and Western fare. There are also cooking stations that whip up roti prata and popiah. The apom berkuah with banana sauce, a Peranakan dessert, has been the hot favourite since day one.

Hotel Phoenix - International Buffet Lunch & Dinner
Where: Phoenix Garden Cafe (tel: 6233-6129)
When: Noon-2.30pm and 6.30-10pm daily; a Local Hi-tea Buffet is also served daily from 3.30-5.30pm.
Cost: $23+++ for lunch and $25+++ for dinner; children pay $16.50+++ and $17.50+++ respectively
What: There are about 50 items in the spread, more than double that when it made its debut. More soups and salads are now on offer, to suit the health-conscious palate of Singaporeans today. The signature dish - roti prata - is a must-try, as is the durian cake.

Hotel Royal - Tropical Peking-Style Steamboat Buffet
Where: Jade Room Restaurant (tel: 6251-8135)
When: 11.15am-2.30pm and 6.15-10.30pm daily Cost: $13.80+++ for lunch and $18.80+++ for dinner. Children pay $9+++ and $12+++ respectively. On weekends, eves and public holidays, adults pay $16.80+++ and $19.80+++ respectively.
What: The tangy dipping sauce, concocted from 13 ingredients including sesame, peanuts, chilli and vinegar, is the secret weapon here. Diners can take their pick from 32 items, including sea cucumber, fresh prawns and peking dumpling. There is also a choice of 10 cooked dishes such as fried chicken wings.

York Hotel - Penang Hawkers’ Fare
Where: White Rose Cafe (tel: 6737-0511 ext 1156)
When: Held traditionally during school holidays in March and September for 17 days each time, the buffet sometimes has an extra run in December.
Cost: $21.80+++ (adult) and $17.80+++ (child) for lunch and dinner.
What: The first-come-first-served spread is one of the most widely-anticipated culinary draws here. Hawkers from Penang’s Gurney Drive set up stalls offering perennial favourites such as Penang laksa, cuttlefish kang kong and crispy lor bak.

Raffles Hotel - International Buffet High Tea
Where: Tiffin Room (tel: 6331-1612)
When: 3.30- 5pm daily
Cost: $31.50+++ (adult) and $18+++ (child)
What: The high tea has earned a name for its indulgent spread and service. The scones with jam, butter and whipped cream, chicken pie and dim sum are top draws. Tiffin Room is also famous for its curry buffets.

Meritus Mandarin Singapore - International Buffet
Where: Triple 3, The Buffet Restaurant (tel: 6831-6271/72)
When: Noon-3pm and 6.30-10:30pm daily
Cost: Lunch costs $41.80+++ (adult) and $24.80+++ (child), while dinner is priced at $52+++ and $32+++ respectively.
What: Formerly known as The Stables, the restaurant now offers more than 60 dishes, comprising 22 appetisers, 20 types of hot food and 20 choices of dessert. There is a different theme each month, but the baked honey-glazed ham, roast prime rib of beef, salmon sashimi and rock oysters are trademark items.

via FF's post on Buffets

So today is Sunday.

Been feeling really relaxed this few days, so relaxed till my constipation problem is gone.

So today I decided to be a darling and brought Charcoal to the West Coast dogrun to play with the other dogs. So today I decided to be adventurous and walk from home to the park, which I estimated very wrongly to be a half hour's walk. In the end, I walked for a freaking 1 hour and 10 minutes in the hot afternoon sun before I finally reached.

Doesn't help that I had to carry Charcoal for more than half the way.

So today Jann and Jace decided to bring Joy Joy and Zaizai down to the dogrun as well. So today Charcoal was almost raped by Spot, a Jack Russell Terrier of the same sex. So today Charcoal attracted quite a number of dogs, males, females and others. Then he ran so far so fast I lost sight of him after a while. And kinda looked dumb standing in the middle of the field trying to find him.

So after the trip to the dogrun Jann & Jace decided to come to my place. So I made them walk the 1 hour plus journey with me. So I thought i did quite a good workout today. So I indulged in unhealthy fast food. So I ate a tube of pringles. So now I feel satisfied. Must replenish energy loss after the strenous workout.

I digress a little. I was feeling rather hungry, until Charcoal farted in his sleep. All appetite lost.

And so I read Gigi's blog, and she called my darling Charcoalwacoaldunnowatelse. Thanks for making Charcoal a bra advertisement.

Ok, I'm sleepy now.

I hate horror movies.


You see what see huh?

I want to vote!

It's a walkover! Dammit!

When can I actually get to vote huh?!

It's the 7th lunar month you know?

I am terrified of ghosts, whether they are around or not.

Especially when it's *whisper* during the 7th lunar month - Hungry Ghosts' Festival.

Yes, I am timid. VERY timid in fact. Any insects which fly, I run for cover. Mum always chided me for being afraid of something so much smaller than I am, but I can't help it! I'm not afraid of lizards, snails or things like that, cos I can at least predict their route of travel. Flying insects.... *shudders*... What if they land on my head??!

Ok, but that's not the main point. I am sick and tired of having to switch channels when the trailer for The Maid comes on. Then when I take the bus, it's on TV Mobile!

Last night I was scared out of my wits. I always thought that the billboards at bus stops were a great idea, as people will look at them when they are waiting for the bus. I was waiting for the bus to Holland V at the bus stop outside The British Council. And was looking at this Marigold Yogurt drink poster on the scrolling billboard... when suddenly, the poster of The Maid scrolled down! I jumped in my seat and almost screamed. Well, actually I did let out a little yelp and wanted to run away, but paiseh lah, there were 3 other people at the stop. From the corner of my eye, I saw the poster was gone, so I looked back in that direction and made a mental note to look away when the yogurt poster came on. But fuck fuck fuck #@%#@%#@%, the billboard can actually reverse scroll(if there's such a term)!

And then the bus came, I got on, and guess what's on TV Mobile? EH! Got nothing to screen ah! What's so entertaining about scaring people! Stress lah stress lah, I went Holland V with the jitters, and when I took the lift home, I was hoping there was no scary old man standing behind me (ala The Eye).

Should I start covering the screens of my monitor and TV with cloth/ paper? In case I see something in the reflection? (The Ring)

Stress lah stress lah.

Yes, Jenn is a scaredy cat. Laugh all you want you evil people.

Watching as people pass me by....

It feels awfully great to slack.

I am now having my lunch in Coffeebean @ Taka. Lunch is just ice blended chocolate and a sandwich. I thought I ordered a chicken sandwich, but, halfway through lunch I realised I was served beef instead. And I checked the receipt, blur me didnt check with the server whether the order was right or wrong. But well, beef on pita bread is really nice. I love pita bread!

It stated lean beef on the menu, but what was presented was lean beef, with lots of tough fatty meat, I couldn't chew through them, and had to cut them away. And the salad... the cabbage was DRENCHED with mayonnaise! How to eat like that!??!?! I'm supposed to be on diet you know?!??!HUH HUH HUH???

Ok, I'm being cranky cos it's only 4pm, and lessons don't start till around 7pm. What am I supposed to do till then? Surf till I sibeh song then go window shopping. Me no moolah. Can only see and drool in front of the shops.

Devoid. Of. Sex Sleep.

A sleepy Jenn is an angry Jenn.

Was awakened in the middle of the night by Pierre, who called all the way from London just to gripe about how his heart ached whenever the fireworks were displayed. Taxpayers' money!!! he shouted into the phone. Men.

So today I went to class in my capacity as a full-time student. Felt great! Decided to change my image today, wore specs to class. Well, for 15 minutes, no one could recognise me. I don't look that different what! I look am studious! Argh, then I had a hard time keeping awake cos I was so sleepy.

Yeah and I'm now typing this entry with half closed eyes. My eyes are pretty small by the way, so I can't really see anything now.

We women need our beauty sleep. And my wrath has been incurred. Stormy weather in the days ahead.

Of boring days and tough weather...

Right now, I would love to have a glass of champagne in my hand.

Managed to finish an *cough* assignment long due this afternoon, and before that, I went down to TP to find Gigi. It's been a long while since I last visited TP after graduation, and I don't know what feelings I have towards it. I mean, I've had great times there, and I've had my most heartbreaking experience there too... and well, I don't know how much it has changed, cos I dragged Charcoal along and I doubt it would be nice to bring him into the school.

Haven't been resting much since I quit my job. Rather funny, cos I've been trying to fill my time with a lot of things I always didn't have time for... like going out with Mum, meeting up with friends for lunch... I need to do some reading! Assignments!!!

Ah well, was thinking about what job I want to get.

When I was very young, I yearned to be a teacher. It seemed so cool to have a pointer, and point to the big big words in the big big books while all the children go silent while listening to the stories. I used to bug mum for a pointer, and I remember one cost about $6 in those days (mind you, not too far away, cos I am still rather young). I would then sit my cousins and brother down, take a story book and try pathetically to point using my pointer, and read them stories from the books. Then when I grew up, I had the opportunity to do relief teaching at some primary schools, and by then I've worn out my teaching desire. Teaching is a great job to be in, the children can really climb over your head bring you lots of joy. Had fun with the kids when I was teaching... Their innocence and zeal to share never fail to astound me.

I love music, and since young, I've been playing the piano. I am full of admiration for my piano teacher, for whenever her fingers are on the keyboard, they seem to just dance around like magic. I wished then, to be a piano teacher when I grow up, and used to coach my brother on the piano (yes, he learnt piano for a while) the same way my piano teacher taught me. In the past few years, I have been teaching piano lessons to 2 little boys, and they are very talented and adorable! So, piano teaching desire satisfied.

I love singing, and always thought choral conductors were great musicians and magicians. The choir sings at the mercy of the wand, or so I thought then. So when I was in the choir in secondary school, I was given the title Student Conductor due to my musical background, and during a concert, did my maiden role as a conductor for a song. It felt weird having the whole choir stare down at me, and, though I wasn't that great as a conductor, I'm still proud of my contribution to the choir. That said, conductor desire satisfied.

Then I had this dream to be an actress. I was in the Drama Club in primary school, and I liked acting, as it allows me to be anyone I want to be. I took part in plays, I did silly little acts, and it was fun! Well, I satisfied that desire too, by being a TV extra during the same time I was doing relief teaching (after 'O' levels). I wasn't in there just to be with the artistes... it was nice getting to know the artistes personally, albeit not close, after a while. The money was great too! Just need to walk here and there then job is over. Acting isn't an easy job... everyone plays a part in making the production work. Ok, acting desire satisfied.

Oh, and once I wanted to be a chef. Yeap. I can cook. Edible or not... that's another story altogether. I love eating, and am always fazed by the cooking shows on TV. Then in poly, as I was doing Hospitality Management, I had the opportunity to work in the restaurant run by our coursemates as a cook. Well, I love it! That's the most memorable time in my poly days... I still wish to be a chef though, but I'm just not willing to get the low pay, and slog the rest of my life away. It takes time for someone to reach the position of Executive Chef. Cooking desire, satisfied, but could be more..

I had wanted to be an events organiser, a chairperson, and just to be in charge. That opportunity jumped at me when I was involved in student activities in the poly. Had to run a few events, some I helped out, some I organised, and yeah, it was great fun. Learnt a lot of things from all that I participated... and again... desires satisfied.

Sigh. All my desires satisfied. So how now? What to do now? Must think of more desires to fulfil.

But then again, perhaps I'm holding back from doing the things I want to do. I love arts, performing arts especially, but yet I fear that if I should devote myself to arts, I would not be able to earn as much as I could if I am in another industry. Sad truth huh. I am bound by the norm, and what bullshit about following your dreams? Unless I can convince myself that money is not everything... I doubt I would ever get to do something I really really love.

Insanely,
Me.

40 years of independence...

Watching the National Day Parade 2005 now, and feeling rather patriotic. The fleet of fighter planes just flew past my area, managed to snap a few pictures, but then, they weren't clear at all. *kicks self in ass*

Anyway, much as I think that having the parade at the Padang is good, the sight of tall office buildings in the background seems to make the whole parade cold, short of the warm human crowd. This year's parade doesn't seem as lively as previous years, though they brought the celebration right to the heartlands. I guess the National Stadium is still the best place for NDP.

I actually wanted to do a list of 40 things that remind me of Singapore, but I gave up at point 22. I mean, I don't need a list of things to tell me why I love Singapore right? Singapore is where my family and friends are, sufficient for 40 reasons right?

Just saw the fireworks from Jurong East area. Pretty curious... would people from the space station think that Singapore is on fire? The fireworks display is on at Jurong East, Yishun, Tampines, and Marina Bay at the same time. So from space, would it seem like Singapore is on fire?

Charcoal was pretty amused by the whole display. He watched with curious eyes, then growled when it didn't end. He's been poking his nose into everything, and right now, he's watching me type away at the iBook.

Alrighty, time to go back to doing my assignment. Had quite a bit to feast on today. Have a sudden craving for sushi though... argh...

Happy National Day!

Singapore is 40 years old today!

Woke up at 10am today, which is rather funny, for I seldom sleep past 8am even though I don't have to work. The only few times I sleep past 8 are when I reach home at 6am after clubbing the night away, or when I'm ill. Well, I didn't exactly get a full rested sleep, kept waking up though. Charcoal ate a bee, and was coughing around 5 am, so I had to wake up and save him. Then at 8am, I woke up, but forced myself to go back to sleep cos it's a holiday! (I realised after I woke up that the next few days would be holidays for me unless I get a new job.)

It's bright and sunny now, feel like going down to Sentosa and getting a tan, but I'm lazy, so I scrapped that idea. Then I thought of baking some cakes, but I'm lazy to buy the stuffs, so I scrapped that idea. Then I thought of going swimming downstairs, but I'm lazy, so again, I scrapped that idea. Then I thought of cleaning up the house, but I'm lazy, so *cough* I scrapped the idea. Then I decided I was lazy and should sleep in, and I'm pretty much agreeable with that, so now I'm happy.

Yes, I'm lazy but so what? We deserve a break on our nation's birthday don't we? 40 years of independence wasn't easy yeah? We went through a lot, SARS, terrorists attacks... yeah?

On another note, I hope this year there will be no walkover for Presidency selection. I'm old enough to vote! And I want to vote!! I need more public holidays!!

Ok, gotta go slack somemore, and probably do my project.

Happy National Day!!!